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Thread: 44 4's

  1. #1
    is in the house Facts Machine's Avatar
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    44 Four's

    Recycle vital survivals of medicen, for life is a stack
    The Methylenedioxymethamphetamine cycle inacts
    Once used for psychotherapy, now illegal with it's chemics
    Meant to effect with euphoric & hallucinogenic relics
    Of headaches & involuntary spasmic movements for vomit
    Global warming when the vibration surpasses sonic, a comit
    Strikes, Fate's forensic when our philisophical theories
    Clearly are irrelevant evidence of an obstacle's weary series
    Secrets kept for many reasons, forget the friendly seasons
    Prisoners forsaken by breathen air of many demons
    For real, ignorance is bliss, so school's piss is aborted
    Smart's extorted, I point at my heart & my forehead
    So before I buy my way with four bucks to invade hell
    I'll see if God could afford it, then i'll fade well
    Sleeping in the forest, but not for rest, but for serenity
    Baby's under a tree, fed by breast shaped like the letter B
    It's the future & peasants are forced to live in the wild
    This is exile, a kid in denial, politics have bitten a style
    Red, white, blue, a sharp circle conjoints with a dork
    Wine's cork's no sport, I just gave you four points like a fork
    Earth, you asked me to carry ya, but now I gotta bury ya
    Fornification, I never married ya, fortified scary hysteria
    Spinal cord & peripheral nerves stand up to the formication
    For better or worse, intoxication of cocaine forms a nation
    Picture four friends that plan for revenge for a former friend
    Who got shot by a fourty four magnum at the corner's end
    It's incredible, the ability to believe in something invisible
    The word four has four thousand, four hundred & fourty four syllables
    For the sake of ur heart & forehead, don't take life for granted
    Elevate like a forklift, freedom's a fight's commandment
    To evaporate, crack the gate, an escape is clever
    Forge with no forlone, heaven forever
    Now we don't got time for a bunch of suckers
    So there's fourty four four's for you motherfuckers
    Last edited by Facts Machine; July 4th, 2005 at 11:10 AM

  2. #2
    is in the house Facts Machine's Avatar
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    Last edited by Facts Machine; July 4th, 2005 at 10:08 AM

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title! The Vortex's Avatar
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    Methylenedioxymethamphetamine
    well for fucks sake with that word.. haha

    delivery and vocab kinda remind me of Pharoa Monch (rap artist)

    phew these long verse make me blind,
    I dont think the end 2 lines are too great to say the least, like they just thrown in to finish the verse.


    some interesting lines in this piece tho, something og a scientific medical thing going on here in the topic,.. and something like poetic sophisticated imagery.. which is nice.

    quite a few nice rhymes and flow is coo fosho

    good luck with the methylene.................... yo

    pz1
    .................................................. ......................

  4. #4
    The King
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    LMAO at you actually doing this. ROFL...
    Wrecks.

  5. #5
    is in the house Facts Machine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rex
    LMAO at you actually doing this. ROFL...
    Jealous much, mr. jay-z reasonable doubt freak fan? Leave feed-back u butt muncher and try getting it nominated.

  6. #6
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    d

    The Methylenedioxymethamphetamine cycle inacts
    it lived up to it's name, but the ^^^ word took away from the flow incredibly
    as a matter of fact, a lotta of the ginormous words took away from the flow, its good you have an extensive vocabulary, but all those six syllable words really took away from the flow.... try using a slightly smaller vocabu;ary, otherwise it was nice, but it had no subject, aside from the 44 4's

    7.5/10

    oh and RETURN THE FAVOR by voting on my battle with holice the boss, link is in my siggy
    Last edited by TheKing; July 4th, 2005 at 10:54 AM Reason: i spelt stuff wrong

  7. #7
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    Awards OM WOTM SS HOF SS HW Champion OM HOF 25+ Wins
    i think you need to work on your word choice, you make some of your lines awkward off the tongue, trying to add too much into it, i mean if i tried to do this on audio, dunno how it would come out, but it doesnt look too suited to it, i thin people are getting away from what OM is about, it should be writtenversions of track lyrics, not poetry or stories, all in all you do have your style worked well, just it not for me
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

  8. #8
    is in the house Facts Machine's Avatar
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    The wording sounds good when i read it to myself.
    I think on audio, with the right flow, this could come out dope... and afterall, this piece was always meant for audio. And to TheKing: there's a lot of meaning in this piece and it's pretty original...

  9. #9
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    It's definitely original,i never said it wasn't but i think i'm too dumb too understand the meaning or it is just too deep for me.. i dunno

  10. #10
    Still in the grave Johnny 6-feet's Avatar
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    A good tribute to Hova, and congrats and managing to fit 44 4's into your rhymes, some great multi's to help the flow along, although it was a little uneven on a few lines. The vocab was strong as a steel bar. The crazy imagery kind of reminded me of ghostface's style and it kept me reading til the end. It felt like you sacrificed making sense at times in order to make the concept work but you get points for originality.

    I just gave you four points like a fork

    ^^liked that line especially, some good work man.

    Keep posting and please return the favour on my piece 'setting the stage'.

    SS League Record 31-8
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  11. #11
    bitch.
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    Great piece. Some seemed a little forced though. Just a tad bit. U did great with the vocabulary and U expressed the emotions and agony very well. Felt like a depressing piece. Very well thought out, great concept, other than some lines being forced I didnt see anything wrong with this piece.

    9.5/10

  12. #12
    Wordbenders Jawn Raw's Avatar
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    your stucture is very good..hmm your flow is very good damn on your opener bar you had a huge ass word, anway the point is im feeling this nice complexity good emotion everything was on point metaphors weren't seen to much but this was more of a lyrical type om, the imagery was also good on point nice meaning but it felt more random cause it felt as if you were trying to work with vocab more. 1

    rtf links in the sig..if its not a bother

  13. #13
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    it was a pretty good piece, i thought that ur stucture is good, the wording and vocab was incredible the huge as word on the second line, it seemed kinda like a depressing sad piece but overall it was good. keep spittin

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elemental Soul
    Recycle vital survivals of medicen, for life is a stack
    The Methylenedioxymethamphetamine cycle inacts
    Once used for psychotherapy, now illegal with it's chemics
    Meant to effect with euphoric & hallucinogenic relics
    Of headaches & involuntary spasmic movements for vomit
    Global warming when the vibration surpasses sonic, a comit
    Strikes, Fate's forensic when our philisophical theories
    Clearly are irrelevant evidence of an obstacle's weary series
    Secrets kept for many reasons, forget the friendly seasons
    Prisoners forsaken by breathen air of many demons
    For real, ignorance is bliss, so school's piss is aborted
    Smart's extorted, I point at my heart & my forehead
    So before I buy my way with four bucks to invade hell
    I'll see if God could afford it, then i'll fade well
    Sleeping in the forest, but not for rest, but for serenity
    Baby's under a tree, fed by breast shaped like the letter B
    It's the future & peasants are forced to live in the wild
    This is exile, a kid in denial, politics have bitten a style
    Red, white, blue, a sharp circle conjoints with a dork
    Wine's cork's no sport, I just gave you four points like a fork
    Earth, you asked me to carry ya, but now I gotta bury ya
    Fornification, I never married ya, fortified scary hysteria
    Spinal cord & peripheral nerves stand up to the formication
    For better or worse, intoxication of cocaine forms a nation
    Picture four friends that plan for revenge for a former friend
    Who got shot by a fourty four magnum at the corner's end
    It's incredible, the ability to believe in something invisible
    The word four has four thousand, four hundred & fourty four syllables
    For the sake of ur heart & forehead, don't take life for granted
    Elevate like a forklift, freedom's a fight's commandment
    To evaporate, crack the gate, an escape is clever
    Forge with no forlone, heaven forever
    Now we don't got time for a bunch of suckers
    So there's fourty four four's for you motherfuckers
    vocab is so high its a problem. U dont wanna stump ppl too long that they forget to read the rest of it. I mean only 1 line after the beggining u pull out "Methylenedioxymethamphetamine". I can't even figure out how many syllables it has, let alone the meaning. Otherwise, its great. I see a few metaphors, good structure. i say 8/10

    seriously though, Methylenedioxymethamphetamine?

    and Return the Favor

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=207753
    Last edited by K.Gee; July 4th, 2005 at 07:27 PM

  15. #15
    is in the house Facts Machine's Avatar
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    I'll return favors later...

    lol that really long word is the scientific way of saying ecstacy... i wanted to try something new that will catch attention cuz everything gets slept on here... i mean think about it... most my pieces get around 2-4 replies... ooooh what a coincidence, this one gets waaaay more and it's when i put something really different...
    so it's kind of like a trap...and i can't find a balance when it comes to OMs.

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