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Thread: Corperate Vs Underground

  1. June 21st, 2005, 10:57 PM #1
    Swift Death
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    Corperate Vs Underground

    Corperate Vs Underground

    Lowlife Skater Stoner...

    Sitting in a dark room, a throne toppled... Strife, War wages
    Abundant Excitment, torn scatterd Tripple sixer pages
    The sages slaugterd slowly to reavel the night stalkers
    The fight between youth "lowlife", and the adult "talkers"
    Tell me the sight that shows us a blanketed light we share
    fare the same demise, yet we stand dubfoundly unaware

    Stare all you want Faggot...

    The lowly maggot a cancer feeding
    receading to demeaning...
    Eating the answer, and from shit...
    a flower.... Grow forth the youth... commit
    Gehhto writers plotting hollow features
    so we can step ahed and swallow the teachers
    bear the sun and live another day
    so say what you will, we wont pay tax
    fuck tax's and you're education
    ill chase the very last love sensation

    Lay down the Facts... Son

    We razed you from screaming infantlie..
    Respect the elderly with a crips smile

    Hold on Hold on....

    For a while you've broken the happyness
    confess the rest paid due's, ended with less
    I have no parents so see the unspoken creation
    ...just another in this poplulation

    Fuck that...

    We gave the fertilizer to grow you're shit...
    To run a world sadly most are unfit...
    Turn a blind eye to anarchy and abuse
    a muse slowly confuses our views

    The skater grabs his skate and head for the door
    ....

    Yah still poor in my eyes rich man

    I wont skate here... but i might tag you're building
    seeing as i have freedom so you say? for rebuilding?
    From my desctruction rises creation... beauty
    so ill coninue that as my duty....

    To Destroy? Or Rebuild?

    From the Ashes Rises life
    Last edited by Swift Death; June 21st, 2005 at 11:09 PM
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  2. June 21st, 2005, 11:04 PM #2
    Swift Death
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    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=203968
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...19#post2597819
    Last edited by Swift Death; June 22nd, 2005 at 01:47 PM
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  3. June 22nd, 2005, 12:03 AM #3
    Swift Death
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    can i get feed?
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  4. June 22nd, 2005, 12:58 AM #4
    Spoken Deity
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    first off... the topic...
    this topic is much different then any topic ive seen.... most ppl come with played shit but you were far from... I also love the direction you took with it... when i saw the topic, i never expected you to take it in this sort of direction... its way dope...
    the imagry was good... this topic requires a certain amount of imagry to make it work... you did so very well... I love the fallowing lines
    The lowly maggot a cancer feeding
    receading to demeaning...
    Eating the answer, and from shit...
    a flower.... Grow forth the youth... commit
    Gehhto writers plotting hollow features
    so we can step ahed and swallow the teachers
    it almost seem raw... just... good shit... i dont know...

    The word play and rhyme scheme were well put together... you have to have a complex rhyme scheme for this peace... with out it, the imagry would be shot and so would the intelligence and dopeness of the topic... i thought you did very welll on this twixn...
    PZ
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  5. June 22nd, 2005, 12:59 AM #5
    Swift Death
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    Dope^ thanks for the in depth feed... leave yah links to battles or OM's or anything...
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  6. June 22nd, 2005, 01:35 AM #6
    Swift Death
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    ZZZ sleep...
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  7. June 22nd, 2005, 03:29 AM #7
    MonStar
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    nice drop kid...the flow was good throughout...i liked the way your structure switched up a few times during the piece...not always a easy thing to pull off yet you did so nicely...you had a great use of vocab and it really helped with the imagery of the piece overall...the content was good as you really went in a different direction that i expected which added to the overall uniqueness of the piece...really nice drop, keep up the good work...i'm looking forward to reading more of your stuff...

    Gehhto writers plotting hollow features
    so we can step ahed and swallow the teachers

    ...i really liked that bar...if you want to leave some feedback in return check out either of the links in my sig...thanks
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  8. June 22nd, 2005, 05:15 AM #8
    Dan Dare
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    Two links, not one. Second link had better be coming today, man.

    Also I'll leave feed on this when you get the other link.
    Last edited by Dan Dare; June 22nd, 2005 at 05:43 AM
    ...
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  9. June 22nd, 2005, 01:47 PM #9
    Swift Death
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    ^done... nice avy
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  10. June 22nd, 2005, 01:57 PM #10
    LA4Lyfe
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    yo this was a dope piece man. I have seen this topic done once before I think but never in this matter. the imagery of the two charactors was great and the emotion was bone chilling. some gully shit man, keep that comin.
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  11. June 22nd, 2005, 01:58 PM #11
    sILLable
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    ill piece god...tha topic was very original and very creative...therefore you get mad creativity and originality points....and points for cleverness....tha rhyme scheme was ill....i loved your choice of vocab in this piece,it flowed beautifuly,layed out very nicely....i loved tha wordplay....mainly i love this piece....very fuckin ill....keep droppin tha hottness.~1~


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  12. June 22nd, 2005, 02:01 PM #12
    Colby Cain
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    That was a fun piece to read man, real dope and emotional. Good vocabulary and charactor use. You played both roles good and made it seem a believable event. Good job man and I hope to read more of your stuff in the future
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  13. June 22nd, 2005, 04:13 PM #13
    Swift Death
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    uppin...
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  14. June 22nd, 2005, 05:28 PM #14
    Swift Death
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    *burp* up
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  15. June 22nd, 2005, 05:53 PM #15
    Swift Death
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    sleeper...
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