I Am.

[Lil_Soja]

A verse I did for a topical. Topic : Agreed Arguments.



I am

An intricate mind, specified detailing thoughts so blind,
Unrevealing truth, altercating with one of its own kind.
Flattered at one's being, deciding the rights of wrongs,
"I am" spoken by a constricted gasp of air so prolonged.
Softly gestured, contradicting each choice made on her own.
Outgrown and tired, every idea draws weary and unknown.
Sophisticated with the knowledge of being opinionated,
Up roared unreasonably with all progress confiscated.
Bickering back and forth, slightly intelligent than before,
Disputing differences, deceiving yourself with ignores.
Significantly defined with an error, one you just wont admit,
Strain fully inclined, pressured beyond belief with torments.
Siding with the enemy, selecting a choice of difference,
Going against your will, left you with a guilted conscience.
Established of the astonishment, protested within time,
Whirled into undefined, circled in between the lines.
Fulfilling an undesired need, switching modes to succeed,
Too afraid to believe and left conquering an imaged dream.
Undecided with good on one shoulder, leaving bad on the other,
Dances of the devil, voices of the angels, a criss crossed mixture.
Confused following a faded tangled path onto perfection,
Choices as directions, lost with a starvation of hallucination.
Running towards one feud, strayed towards something similar,
Mistakenly without a clue, following foot steps of unfamiliar
Compressed with stress, a 50/50 guess, but unfortunately lost,
She knew she was wrong, but all the lies caught her in exhaust.
Mixed in a crazed, eyes stay dazed, while her mind starts to race,
In a state of confusion, she lies, she's losing her place.
"I am" again said so lightly within a dark and isolated being,
With a beauty feeling, still not believing, with a right she's needing.
Not giving in, she wont admit that she's wrong and continues..
..Arguing with herself, for the facts cannot be true, she'll refuse..
..To believe what's right, not for her, it's not good enough, it can't be.
Her decisions are misunderstood, but yet no other soul will agree.
In her head, the voices say what is right as being intimidated by others,
Her faults she made on her own, beyond the thinking of torture.
Irked with frustration, led her only to temptation instead of a cause,
For the effect would be inconclusive, and the loss would be a charge.
Without ending the feud with a fight, she puts in all energy that's felt,
Sets the facts straight with all her might, for "I am" is only arguing herself.

Links:

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...00#post2576000
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...11#post2576011

[EyeBite]

yup-yup-yup... this was real creative,yo.....rhyming and describing your self at the same time is really cool yo... very imaginary.. i can picture your personality..that real cool yo.. i enjoyed reading it and it was easy to read cuz of the great flow and structure and all.. good job

[Vicious Breed]

Holy shit there is nothign i cansay bad about dis or give feed back for ur structure and flow were solid vocab and wordplay were amazing ur creativity was just crazy........ 2 words to describe this.... fuckin amazing piece
9.9/10 :P

[Lil_Soja]

Uppin

[NullReason]

First and foremost: You've taken the time, in a completely text based medium, to give you presentation a sense of polish. Capital letters. Punctuation. It seems simple, but it's a concept lost on so many, which is odd, given that it's the first impression that immediately jumps to the reader/audience.

My first impression? - This piece will have a unique sense of depth portrayed from the mind of the artist, to the audience. Was I disappointed at the end, after ingesting these poetics? Not in the slightest.

This piece demonstrates a structure, flow, weight, and rhythm that boosts it beyond merely an 'open mic' piece, and let's it flirt with the concept of 'art'. It is backed by vocabulary driven storytelling, shows insight into areas of your own experience that we, as readers, can recognize and identify. Frusteration. Indecision. Guilt. Self reflection. Strong lines such as:

'Going against your will, left you with a guilted conscience.
Established of the astonishment, protested within time,
Whirled into undefined, circled in between the lines.'

Paints vivid imagery, insight into your imagination, paints emotion behind words. It shows a level of lyricism that is above and beyond the mainstream 'jocking some bitches', 'rolling on chrome', 'Firing off gats'.

All I'm really left wondering is if this is a spoken word piece, or if you've played it over a beat? What style of beat? Is it a continuous verse, beginning to end, or are there breaks? All of that, really, is elementary and dependant on more than what can be conveyed in the text.

In conclusion: Excellent piece. Keep it up. You've -obviously- got talent that you don't need to let go to waste.

[InSaNe B]

Nice nice nice nice piece here homie.. like Illest Skill said only a few words for this "fukin amazing piece".. your thoughts musta been running crazy and going outta control and you hadda show it to us here.. I enjoyed it very much so.. keep up the good work.. pce out....

[Lil_Soja]

Thanks, anymore?

[X-rated]

gooooodd shit Samantha i really liked this peice here that u wrote it has sum real good imagery kool structure, the "i am" parts was real good jus picturin sume1 sayin that and still arguin wit themselves, i like the vocab and spoken words u used wich was nice very clean, wen i start 2 read it, it gets in2 my head and i think and picture everyaspect of the situation and overall id give it a 10 good job Samantha

[E Tha Real]

i like the structure, and thought there were
a lot of creative concepts look forward to
reading another one of your peices...

[Urban_Myth]

fantastic piece sam you know i like it and now i can be all like omg i had the person who wrote i am

[Lil_Soja]

Up..

[Lil_Soja]

Uppin...

[LadyDip*Harlem]

ma you dropped a dope piece , im like really feeln it. real talk! very creative.