Eyes Of The Future

[Vertikle]

My 2 Links:
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...969post2549969
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...984post2549984


Eyes of the Future

Pain is of the essence, while I'm in death's pressence.
Living in a world, where to survive you need a weapon.
Lessons I learn as a young youth, finding only some truth.
Watch my homie fall to the ground as the killer's gun blew.
I see the world crumble, hear the war over seas rumble.
Feels like I'm growing up as a gorilla in a concrete jungle.
Humble to society, while my only courage tries to flee.
Somebody got to die soon, so I'm asking God why it's me.
I'd try to do my own plan and try to make my own stand.
Still I can't seem to find a way to be considered a grown man.
Took my time and value to try and walk miles through.
Hell and people say I need to change, but my style grew.
Can you look into my eyes and realize why I try my best.
I don't want to quit, lose a dream, and die like the rest.
But life's all a test, if you can't pass it, you'll be a loser.
I don't live by the past, when I have eyes of the future.

[Vertikle]

thanx Uppin

[Brainz]

But life's all a test, if you can't pass it, you'll be a loser.
I don't live by the past, when I have eyes of the future.

That line was decent man keep it up. If only you had made it alittle bit longer I woulda liked it more. The vocabulary in this piece was very good. The peice stood out. The metas were hot and well thought out keep doing ya thing.

Holla at mine
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=200766

[Vertikle]

thanx uppin last time today

[Phourz]

I thought this Peice was actually Pretty-Raw do foreel....I like ya Rhyme Scheme to it...It was pretty Unique type of Delivery...Feelin dat...da Lyrics Were straight, but connected Ill-though......

Overalll

Id give dis Drop a 8/10 Good Delivery...but only Straight lyrics...Tight though

[Vertikle]

uppin

[Nick James...]

Pain is of the essence, while I'm in death's pressence.
Living in a world, where to survive you need a weapon.
(Okay opener...)

Lessons I learn as a young youth, finding only some truth.
Watch my homie fall to the ground as the killer's gun blew.
(Good feelin...seemed a little forced...but good emotion)

I see the world crumble, hear the war over seas rumble.
Feels like I'm growing up as a gorilla in a concrete jungle.
(Nice creativity...)

Humble to society, while my only courage tries to flee.
Somebody got to die soon, so I'm asking God why it's me.
(Wasnt feelin it...)

I'd try to do my own plan and try to make my own stand.
Still I can't seem to find a way to be considered a grown man.
(Seemed forced...)

Took my time and value to try and walk miles through.
Hell and people say I need to change, but my style grew.
(Forced once again...)

Can you look into my eyes and realize why I try my best.
I don't want to quit, lose a dream, and die like the rest.
(Nice emotion...)

But life's all a test, if you can't pass it, you'll be a loser.
I don't live by the past, when I have eyes of the future.
(Nice closer)

I felt someone lines were forced, and only in one or two lines there was emotion, throughout all the rest of it I couldnt feel any. No imagery...flow was good though, and Ur rhyme scheme was great. And some of the creativity was interesting...

Not bad...

7.5/10

Hit up one of the battles in my sig...

[Vertikle]

uppin

[b.g.]

Pain is of the essence, while I'm in death's pressence.
Living in a world, where to survive you need a weapon.
sounds like my hood nice opener
Lessons I learn as a young youth, finding only some truth.
Watch my homie fall to the ground as the killer's gun blew.
damn this line is really deep
I see the world crumble, hear the war over seas rumble.
Feels like I'm growing up as a gorilla in a concrete jungle.
funny but also true
Humble to society, while my only courage tries to flee.
Somebody got to die soon, so I'm asking God why it's me.
i dont really relate to this
I'd try to do my own plan and try to make my own stand.
Still I can't seem to find a way to be considered a grown man.
whoa i love the word play and this line fell right toghter
Took my time and value to try and walk miles through.
Hell and people say I need to change, but my style grew.
umm its ok
Can you look into my eyes and realize why I try my best.
I don't want to quit, lose a dream, and die like the rest.
this would be a good as closer
But life's all a test, if you can't pass it, you'll be a loser.
I don't live by the past, when I have eyes of the future.
now if all om was like this ill kiss thier ass good finisher

[Drunken Waffle]

I see the world crumble, hear the war over seas rumble.
Feels like I'm growing up as a gorilla in a concrete jungle.

One of the best lines. Some seemed forced, but there was creativity. Not a lot of originality topic-wise, and it was pretty short. A lot of basic vocabulary in places, but sometimes it'd make it good. Good scheme, all of it was pretty good.

7.5/10

[Vertikle]

uppin

[sILLable]

ill piece man,not bad vocab..a little short but had nice consistency,this flowed well and tha rhyme scheme was tight,could have used a little more complexity but for tha most part this piece was ill.keep droppin and elevatin.~1~

[EyeBite]

hell ya!!!! homie this was real tight... loved the great vocab..... the rhymes were real nice fitting the whole topic real nice... the flow was really great and the structure was way good..... i am a real big fan of ya threads and hope to see another one by you (agian)... great job... keep it up.. have a good day

[CaseClosed]

tight... great vocab..... the rhymes fit the whole topic.
Sick flow and good structure. Nice vocabulary again I must say.

[CaseClosed]

CaseClosed]tight... great vocab..... the rhymes fit the whole topic.
Sick flow and good structure. Nice vocabulary again I must say.
Nice use of the whole life and death Analogy.