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Thread: /\Hatred/\

  1. June 9th, 2005, 08:41 PM #1
    Brainz
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    /\Hatred/\

    Mornings seem useless with out a sun that glares//
    Moaning is garbage with out a position that’s rare//
    Unfair is the game of life I’m tired of playing//
    What’s the actual meaning of life? That all I’m saying//
    Shameless stupid suckers are the ones in charge//
    Let me recharge don’t wanna slip these bars//
    Stars have all the money but what about us//
    We get shit… a night stick to the back and hand cuffs//
    The worlds stuffed with no trust and politics of rust//
    Now Imma quit this shit quick to the next topic//
    Everyone talks about it…. but its hard to stop it//
    These are my expressions with tension on to paper//
    I have to jot them quick before they disappear like vapor//
    Or I might decide to hid em fast like child labor//
    My moms I might hate ‘er
    ….Couldn’t appreciate the son that god gave her//
    I’m not trynna play her
    Cant take anymore orders from her Im not a waitor//
    Curse haters …they bite worse then alligators//

    Listen….. comprehend and understand something//
    The Boss is worth the cost but the “underman” is nothing//
    Man… if we wanted to we could get locked up on demand//
    The streets provided the essentials like survival tips//
    The streets heat got dudes going holy reading bible strips//
    Crips and bloods shelter together to stay alive and shit//
    This why I spit to get the stress of my chest and reminisce//
    If only evil could surrender this, clear the mist, and sharpen the bliss//
    A real nigga would pull a trigger and blast fo me//
    Real wankstas master the art of bullshitting and blasphemy//
    This world is gonna end my friend and only the fit will survive//
    Intelligence and street smart will get to far but the good sir will die//
    Cuz thinking for others my brother aint to good at times//
    If you listen closely you’ll hear hate in my rhymes// (whispers the word hate)
    Life has taken my wife and developed the state of exhaustion//
    A Knife seems the best way to rest and end this commotion//
    Or maybe swallow a bomb and wait for the explosion//

    Decent Feed Links:

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=200709
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=200759
    Last edited by Brainz; June 10th, 2005 at 10:15 PM

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    Dead in the middle of Little Italy little did we know
    that we riddled some middleman who didn't do diddily
    ~Big Pun~


    I rub your face off the Earth and curse your family children
    like Amityville drill the nerves in your cavity fillin
    Insanity's building up pavillion in my civilian
    The cannon be the anarchy that humanity's dealing
    A villain without remorse, who's willing to out your boss
    Forever and take all the cheddar like child support
    ~Big Pun~
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  2. June 9th, 2005, 08:55 PM #2
    Brainz
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    Last edited by Brainz; June 13th, 2005 at 01:13 PM

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    Dead in the middle of Little Italy little did we know
    that we riddled some middleman who didn't do diddily
    ~Big Pun~


    I rub your face off the Earth and curse your family children
    like Amityville drill the nerves in your cavity fillin
    Insanity's building up pavillion in my civilian
    The cannon be the anarchy that humanity's dealing
    A villain without remorse, who's willing to out your boss
    Forever and take all the cheddar like child support
    ~Big Pun~
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  3. June 9th, 2005, 10:05 PM #3
    Brainz
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    ... Feed Back needed on this one

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    Dead in the middle of Little Italy little did we know
    that we riddled some middleman who didn't do diddily
    ~Big Pun~


    I rub your face off the Earth and curse your family children
    like Amityville drill the nerves in your cavity fillin
    Insanity's building up pavillion in my civilian
    The cannon be the anarchy that humanity's dealing
    A villain without remorse, who's willing to out your boss
    Forever and take all the cheddar like child support
    ~Big Pun~
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  4. June 10th, 2005, 10:16 PM #4
    Brainz
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    Feed On this needed

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    Dead in the middle of Little Italy little did we know
    that we riddled some middleman who didn't do diddily
    ~Big Pun~


    I rub your face off the Earth and curse your family children
    like Amityville drill the nerves in your cavity fillin
    Insanity's building up pavillion in my civilian
    The cannon be the anarchy that humanity's dealing
    A villain without remorse, who's willing to out your boss
    Forever and take all the cheddar like child support
    ~Big Pun~
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  5. June 11th, 2005, 02:06 AM #5
    Vicious Breed
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    i liked it
    structure and flow wre decent
    ur vocab was very good and u had multis in some places which made it better
    u had emotion and a good topic
    i enjoyed reading this good job
    Let The Pen Bleed So My Wrists Don't
    Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist
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  6. June 11th, 2005, 11:46 AM #6
    Brainz
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    THanks guys leave links for me to drop Feed on.

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    Dead in the middle of Little Italy little did we know
    that we riddled some middleman who didn't do diddily
    ~Big Pun~


    I rub your face off the Earth and curse your family children
    like Amityville drill the nerves in your cavity fillin
    Insanity's building up pavillion in my civilian
    The cannon be the anarchy that humanity's dealing
    A villain without remorse, who's willing to out your boss
    Forever and take all the cheddar like child support
    ~Big Pun~
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  7. June 12th, 2005, 02:13 AM #7
    Brainz
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    Good Looking

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    Dead in the middle of Little Italy little did we know
    that we riddled some middleman who didn't do diddily
    ~Big Pun~


    I rub your face off the Earth and curse your family children
    like Amityville drill the nerves in your cavity fillin
    Insanity's building up pavillion in my civilian
    The cannon be the anarchy that humanity's dealing
    A villain without remorse, who's willing to out your boss
    Forever and take all the cheddar like child support
    ~Big Pun~
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  8. June 13th, 2005, 10:18 AM #8
    Johnny 6-feet
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    this is a good piece and shouldn't get slept on. the topic was nice, the emotion was there and the structure was great, the odd multi helped the flow, the imagery was ok and the vocab could do with some work but you're definately getting good at writing man. keep elavating, keep posting and thanks for the rep.

    SS League Record 31-8
    SS HW Champ
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