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Thread: *Suicidal thoughts*

  1. #1

    *Suicidal thoughts*

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=1#post2504894

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=1#post2504862




    since Issue made those two songs one ghost in New York, the other about being Addicted.. I decided to make one about Suicidal thoughts.

    So here it is..


    “Suicidal Schizophrenia”


    [Hopeful Side]

    Severed thoughts, mental pain and anguish...I can’t stand it...
    Never caught with anything I can manage...I didn’t plan it
    Dark figures and shadows, ghastly images...heartless threats
    I paid for the torture with my soul...now the heart comes next
    Always taunted, I’m pass being p*ssed off...it’s not surprising
    I would stab myself with this knife, but I have more thoughts arising
    Poison I would engulf most of, or maybe stick some forks in the toaster
    But let’s end this quick...I’ll just pull the gun right out its holster...
    I don’t hate life, in fact I love it...It just happens to hate me...
    I’m both the victim and the suspect...There’s no one here who can save me...

    [Deranged Side]

    “Read the bible? That’s crazy...man my problem isn’t that simple...”
    “Instead of ‘going to church’, I’d rather blow the right side of my ‘temple’...”
    “There’s a thought...” I stay talkin’ to myself...all the time
    I did it once watchin “60 Minutes”...they were talking bout Columbine...
    Yeah, I’d come in with a trench coat, a shotgun, and an evil ass glare
    But I’d probably blow my head off climbin’ up the first flight of stairs
    F*ck this earth and all you people in it! I wish you all would suffer...
    Sh*t, if my mother were still alive...I swear to f*ck I would snuff her!
    Piece of sh*t, I’d slit your wrists and clit...then f*ckin’ split...
    Then laugh maniacally as I yell out “Payback’s A Bitch!!”

    [? Side]

    “Skeptic spits I’m vexed and sh*t, all hexed and fixed...
    Flood the pain! Someone please raise the water to my neck and lips!
    I can’t forget, I can’t admit, this pain all scant in bits...
    Mash the knife to my heart, death is tranquil in every sense...”

    chorus-
    I fucking hate you, You stupid Snitch
    Ive said it once PAY BACKS A BITCH
    While you sit there and make plots,
    I sit here and right down how to kill you with my SUICIDAL THUGHTS





    NextOnMyShitList-
    These are the sounds of an incapicated sole/ So overgrown and old when you inhale hits from the bowl/ your body just slows and the suffering grows/ Till you want to be black and blue from your nose to your toes/ the stentch of your clothes reeks from the blood of your wrist/ As you apply another band-aid to a gash the size of your fist/ you're naked and starving- the bones poke through the skin/ You just can't wait to wake up from this shit hole you're living in/ You take the gun barrle and place it on the tips of your lips/ No words, no gestures, just letting the tigger do as it may wish/ You reminess- all the times that you miss/ your wife - your old life- your flesh and blood- your kids/ You close your eyes and realise that's good, done and over with/ that bitch moved out and took everything good you had and ran over it/ The slump you're in seems to increase by the second/ You grab for the seringe but everything you had has already been injected/ An empty bottle of pills teeters on the edge of your hand/ You just wish you could try and make this dumb bitch understand/ You're not a violent man and you do what you can/ BUt she took that final thread and threw it away in the trash-can/ Now with your bottle of 40 - a 12 gauge- and an empty bottle/ Your body starts to twitch and your minds full throttle/

    chorus

    Outro- Suuiicciddall thoughts.. ugh ugh yeah. HAHA (fadeout)
    Last edited by BelligerentAce; June 2nd, 2005 at 11:26 PM

  2. #2
    Can i get soem motherfucking feed lol

  3. #3
    Yo hit me up with some feed man

  4. #4
    The Black JC. Julius Caesar's Avatar
    Join Date
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    Alrigh this was ok....The first part The only thing i liked about that was that it had imaginary and small portion of emotion...The 2nd part was good too, felt your feelings. Work on upping your vocab.

    Overall- nice shit bruh.

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  5. #5
    Vertikle
    Guest
    Nice shit, thought it rhymed pretty good, and had some straight flow.Average work of skill and creativity and good vocab, nice imagery too............

    pz. 8 out of 10

    Hit my battle up and give some feed back
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=198844

  6. #6
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    Pretty played topic.

    You had a few decent lines, but your lack of imagery and emotion threw it off.
    Like this. / is gay.
    Dont ever use that shit, its just annoying, and makes people not want to read it.

    Just keep trying.

  7. #7
    Thanks anymore feed?

  8. #8
    thnx for the feed n e more?

  9. #9
    God Fist Spoken Deity's Avatar
    Join Date
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    Awards PS Champion/IE Champion PC HOF PS HOF PS Season champ OM HOF Legendary PC
    not very bad or good

    no imagry and emotion fucks up the all ready played topic...
    as one said above.. '/' is gay... VERY FUCKING DUMB AND GAY.. dont do it
    hit my OM and actually leave something

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