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Thread: 11 bars

  1. #1

    11 bars

    Yep my first open mic....

    I step yo the mic to wreak havoc
    And rap faster than a speed addict
    My lyrics rarely disrespect women
    Due to the fact that I wana get with em
    Muafucka don’t even be smirken at me
    I’ll make you underground rapper permanently
    Mc’s sayin “I aint shit” I know I’m not shit
    Battling’ me within 5 bars you will have got ripped
    I quit smoking but still spit dopely
    Claiming your grimy but all you do is bitch homie
    I spit words that basically have to be felt
    Cuz we got it locked down under like a chastity belt*
    Were soon to hit the top and run shit
    And nah I aint talking bout ya bum bitch
    Watch your self-cause dumb fags-
    Get choked to death with their own cum rags
    Bitch, don’t ever try to step over me
    Cause Ill kick your balls hard enough to turn em into ovaries
    I spit these fairly advanced concepts
    And I’m just starting I aint even on yet
    Stay sick with the mics until the world ends
    I had to get that shit off my chest like Rkellys girl friends



    *In case you dont know a chastity belt is a thing they used to put on bitches in medievil times to stop em from fuckin. lol

  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    ayo...

    i like that R Kelly dis...

    that shit waas funny...

    u wanna battle me?

    tell me the place in this room before friday...

    only if u tryin to battle tho

  3. #3
    lol you musta thought it was dope if your dropped ya first post here.
    You can set up a battle with me if you want PM me the link.

  4. #4
    Old Skool Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    Typical Braggadocio verse. Nothing really stand out other than your flow to be honest, the R Kelly line is OLD and madd played out now. DaMn. You could probably benefit from some of the tutorials up in the Help Desk forum as far as topical joints go, try writing something more original. Something stand out. Work on your multi's, they'll tighten up your flow and rhyme schemes a LOT once you get both those mastered. Your flows fine, its just the mechanics you could use help with. It takes time, but dont get disheartened, just keep practicing. You'll pick it up eventually and before you know it, it becomes like second nature man.

    P.S - A bar ISNT two lines, a lot of newer kids here seem to think that. Dunno why.


    EDIT - WTF at the replies you're all giving?
    Last edited by Baron Mynd; May 9th, 2005 at 08:38 AM

    WORD P e r f e c t !


    RESERVOIR GODS


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  5. #5
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    .Unregistered,

    u gotta set up the room....

    as u can see i'm new...

    dont kno how yet...

    i ain't looked at much on this site yet ..........

  6. #6
    ^I cant be stuffed setting up the thread.


    hmmm yeah. I just felt like doing a braggin verse for once cause I hear basicaly every other rapper doin the shit. I usually dont.

    P.S Whats a bar I've been told it's two lines?
    Last edited by .Unregistered.; May 5th, 2005 at 08:10 AM

  7. #7
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    Not too bad...you could have done a lil better...but ya rhyme schemes aignt that bad...your vocab seems ok...your flow is good...i think you laid out good imagery...but i think you lacked in consistency with your content...i think you could have worded some of ya lines better...

    overall not bad though

  8. #8
    The True Psycho of RB
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    I thought this was a good verse the flow stood out to me some of the punches were funny but others were a bit played.
    The vocab was decent the structure was fine so just up your vocab so you can describe your thoughts better and write better imagery.
    Next time just try to write some more killer punches that will help your verses.

    Reply to my new thread:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=191223

  9. #9
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    ight yo...
    i'll set up the thread....
    But where do i put it up at...

  10. #10
    Old Skool Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by .Unregistered.
    P.S Whats a bar I've been told it's two lines?
    To be honest, a 'bar' can be 1, 2, or even 4 lines - Musically, a bar isnt confined to just two lines, its probably easier for you not to even be concerned with the length of your drops. Around the net, several sites consider a bar to be two lines .. I dont know where this idea comes from, but its wrong. Lol.

    WORD P e r f e c t !


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  11. #11
    Old Skool Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Drelove
    ight yo...
    i'll set up the thread....
    But where do i put it up at...
    In the 'Frontlines' forum.

    WORD P e r f e c t !


    RESERVOIR GODS


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  12. #12
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    This was an okay piece, nothing special....I thought it was really uneeded......But solid....Work on vocab and multis.....Peace

    Drop FB on my OM, Excrushiating Journey

  13. #13
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    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=191497

    your structure really needed work.
    good use of self glorification.
    alright flow.
    alright vocab for a newbie, try to mix it up.
    make your lines longer.

    hmm thats about it..stay up.

  14. #14
    Big Blind
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    good flow good structure
    wordplay was ok
    rhyme sceme ok

  15. #15
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    ight...

    .Unregistered.

    i'll set it up tomorrow...

    then we'll battle...
    If u wanna win against me
    then i'll diminish ya hope
    cause if u was a sniper u couldn't see me
    even through a new scope

    come get me...


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    One loss because of
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