A Distant Memory.

[Orikle]

I posted this in the poetry forum but it gets crazy slept on so thought I'd throw it over here aswell for the Open Mic heads to get a geeze at my words. This is for a Universtiry Competition where the topic was, "Feeding Hungry Minds." So this is what I came up with, please do enjoy & I promise to try to get back at all of those who reply.

Welcome to my mind...


Since my Genesis, I’ve held a love for sentences,
A thirst for knowledge & the heavenly messages,
The things you’d find in my brain, it was evident,
A wealth of words and music on the premises,
I’d searched the words from here to the horizon
Placed the worlds theories at my back of my eyelids,
What you’d find wasn’t short of spectacular,
There’s more beauty than the shores of Ballina,
Fiction or not, I housed the talented characters
That roamed my minds jungle, as if they were animals,
My religion was language, I praised the words
Walked around with pen stains all over my shirts,
I wrote all night long, to rise the words from stone
That ancient authors laid to hand a world of growth.

I indulged in many men such as Plato and Plutarch,
Finding that the mind was the best tool to use art,
I read the histories, from Sparta to America,
Learnt that true men aren’t grown with any chemicals,
It’s critical, every thought that I expel to you
I aimed to teach and I hope you are compelled to use
Every view I delivered from my mind
The lord was my architect and brought a nice design
He told me, feed your brain and truth you’ll find
Comes in many shapes and sizes, mine was rhyme,
Praised my lords as Brother Ali and Atmosphere,
Every word that I’d written, I’d been practicing,
To hope that one day, I could be like them
And feed hungry minds, with the wisdom that rhyme sent.
My bible consisted of all potent music,
With notes full of love, like it was composed by Cupid.

All beliefs were carved onto cerebral sectors,
Made sure that intellect would always win my election
Yet, as with any nation, comes its problems,
My thought was strayed down to, dark ignoble objects,
I’ve lost my mind; can you help me find it?
I need to regain those times of holy dialect
Went off my diet, for just a split second,
And fed my brain the most evil of lessons,
Please forgive me, literature and music,
I need your source back for the slightest of movement.
The minds a stomach, it must be fed correctly
As right now, mine doesn’t know it ever met me.

Big cheers to my brothers & sisters.

[Trema]

I posted this in the poetry forum but it gets crazy slept on so thought I'd throw it over here aswell for the Open Mic heads to get a geeze at my words. This is for a Universtiry Competition where the topic was, "Feeding Hungry Minds." So this is what I came up with, please do enjoy & I promise to try to get back at all of those who reply.

Welcome to my mind...


Since my Genesis, I’ve held a love for sentences,
A thirst for knowledge & the heavenly messages,
The things you’d find in my brain, it was evident,
A wealth of words and music on the premises,
I’d searched the words from here to the horizon
Placed the worlds theories at my back of my eyelids,
What you’d find wasn’t short of spectacular,
There’s more beauty than the shores of Ballina,
Fiction or not, I housed the talented characters
That roamed my minds jungle, as if they were animals,
My religion was language, I praised the words
Walked around with pen stains all over my shirts,
I wrote all night long, to rise the words from stone
That ancient authors laid to hand a world of growth.

I indulged in many men such as Plato and Plutarch,
Finding that the mind was the best tool to use art,
I read the histories, from Sparta to America,
Learnt that true men aren’t grown with any chemicals,
It’s critical, every thought that I expel to you
I aimed to teach and I hope you are compelled to use
Every view I delivered from my mind
The lord was my architect and brought a nice design
He told me, feed your brain and truth you’ll find
Comes in many shapes and sizes, mine was rhyme,
Praised my lords as Brother Ali and Atmosphere,
Every word that I’d written, I’d been practicing,
To hope that one day, I could be like them
And feed hungry minds, with the wisdom that rhyme sent.
My bible consisted of all potent music,
With notes full of love, like it was composed by Cupid.

All beliefs were carved onto cerebral sectors,
Made sure that intellect would always win my election
Yet, as with any nation, comes its problems,
My thought was strayed down to, dark ignoble objects,
I’ve lost my mind; can you help me find it?
I need to regain those times of holy dialect
Went off my diet, for just a split second,
And fed my brain the most evil of lessons,
Please forgive me, literature and music,
I need your source back for the slightest of movement.
The minds a stomach, it must be fed correctly
As right now, mine doesn’t know it ever met me.

Big cheers to my brothers & sisters.

yeah dawg i looked and replied to yo piece in the poem forum, i think this is best kept as a poem! nothings wrong with it i just aint feeling it as open mic!

[prolific]

im agreein with Trema good drop but keep it as a poem

[Orikle]

It was only posted here because the poetry forum gets crazzily slept on. so while you take the time to type something...don't just say how much of a "poem" it should be...leave some fucking feed. Thankyou.

[Mistral]

You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.

[Orikle]

Ehh close it do what ya want...all you get with that shitty rule is token replys...^ what was your old name bro!?...this forum has gone to shit...where the fuck have all the DOPE writers gone!?!?...Not so long ago was this one of the best fields on the net...cats like N-Demik, 13th Apostle, Narcicyst, Sand, Atetrack Define', DaGyrlRemarKbl, Evolve, All reigned this joint...made it an unreal place to go when bored haha....Baron is still round, but much of the others are goneskies. Sad to see.

[Edicius]

Nigga i am still HERE!

recognize..

Nice read, ill leave an indepth reply later.. ; )

[Orikle]

^ Haha yeah werd I hear ya...one of the very few though...there aren't many cats from our time here anymore though & I'm not even from the start of this shit...I'm only talkin 2 years back...but far too many good people have left this start which has just started this viscious cycle of shitty styles of poofs that havn't learnt from the vets ahead of them...we did man...& that's why we have a fucking clue about Hip-Hop nowadays...I'm not seeing a new generation of dopenuss either...shit is sad but hopefully these kids can learn...you gots to read back into the past before you can go forward uh. Pz.

[Edicius]

yea .. but fuck it duke .. new kids are fun too laugh at !

haha

but this piece was nice, the rhyme sheme was semi-complex` and the vocab combined good with the story telling,
and i liked your second stanza the most ..
not a bad drop .. you didnt drop in a long time eh?
any way we shall collab one time .. okay hombre?
just let me know if you are down .. and oh can you hit up that SS piece i dropped in OM, its called '' fear '' appreciated ..

1luv

[Ebonikz]

u got talent man i m a poet myself just can't feel this a rapper type writing this is poetry u have good vocab man

[Orikle]

Werrrrdd Up yo. Cheers for the words mun.

[Rude Pryncezz]

i really see nothing wrong with this piece in open mic....rap is a forum of poetry so why do people complain....not evey piece has to have world play, meta's, multis and all that other unnessary shit.

A great writter writes from the heart and i see that here, you didnt just throw 2 lines 2gether, u made them fit perfectly as if they where a match (if u uderstand what im saying)


"My religion was language, I praised the words
Walked around with pen stains all over my shirts,"

^^^i feel what ya say right there, i liked those lines alot

goodluck in your competition, you stayed directly on topic and said what u wanted to say, nice

~1

[Orikle]

^ Cheers...Are you Hot? hahah..

[Edicius]

Orikle, see my SS shit .. kid gets some mad d/r my verse was like .. dope

haha, reply too my DAY AND NIGHT NIGGA!