An Angel's Feather

[Deviate]

An Angel's Feather

* * *
.
.
.
The profusion of God's illusion escapes,
..Intense intrusion of my dillusion relates.
Discomfort strikes my cerebrum violently,
..While I grip my heart silently
The end?
..signals jolt to a dimuendo as I amend,
Impetuous assault of my heart in crescendo.
Ideas shake erratically trapped in limbo.

..My glazed eyes embrace the universe,
Words streak across my cheeks forming a verse.
A dove collects my message,
.. As I sink into undesirable knowledge.
Realisation lacks from the creation,
..Deviation from the information.

Meant to know?
..Postulating this hypothesis I grip my flow.
I do this so you can live to know...
Painting by colours the blood finds release,
..Pores implore my brain... Peace?

.
.
.

At least before I'm deceased I can kill my lease,
Reporters flood the white fields..
Watching this "Miraculous event unfold"
.. My story remains dormant - Remains untold.
I hardly feel the cold..
My body at rest in its mould.
... My soul grips at the hole...

I'm a human crucifix with an addition,
..After extraordinary incision,
I discovered the division...
The euphemism I discovered amidst the destruction.

.
.
.

My torso raises...
The crowds' eye phases...
Priests fall to their knees reciting praises.

I turn my shadowed body to them and walk,
My blood patterns I stalk...
Footsteps passing and imprinting in the chalk.

I flutter my wings and fly away,
Mind toying with the novelty as my body sways..
One last drop filters through the healing wound,
It descends slowly...
As I ascend quickly...
Signifying the worlds doom.
I fly obstructing the moon's looming gloom,
... Peering down I absorb the emotion,
As they struggle with what happened... The expulsion

* * *

"This is BBC news reporting live... W-We've just bared witness to one of the most miraculous events, perhaps in the history of the world. As you can see on your television screens there is indeed burgundy writing etched into the snow near here. Th-This message left is but a simple word... "Goodbye." The origin of this...this... message came from a.. a... man... or? It's in-incomprehendable! A farmer saw a winged figure in the distance over his crops. Assuming, it was a bird eating his crops he shot it in the side with his rifle. This... "Bird" was, in fact, on one of his near by fields. From a closer inspection he found that this... "Bird" was actually a..a man... of some sort. The blood spilled from his wound slowly spelt the word "Goodbye". Thousands of people gathered without being informed of this event, but from some sort of spiritual feeling... These people observed this... this... winged,
man stand and fly into the sky... A-as he flew away a final droplet fell marking a period on the message that was left. W-we cannot explain what happened today... What the message means... What it's signi...."

* * *

Power goes down across the world...
God's wrath unfurled...
As thousands of angels silently move,
Streaking across the Earth they do their work...
Catalysts to our existence,
In this instance... Accelerating our dismissal,
The remissful God frowns as the judicial...

They approach my soul's coffin,
...Questioning their power to stop him.
Eyes grip a delicate object amongst the snow,
An Angel's feather cries out alone...

We find neverending...

Peace?

[Incineratedrose]

hi.

i really like the structure, you switched it every so often and i thought that was really cool and it seemed like you were trying something new. The story line, is golden.. that really hit right on, and i liked how you peiced it all together.. hella good job, i just.. all over just a great work-ness. i liked the whole news report thing, that was a nice addition, wordness... just good job

[Deviate]

Links

K9 - Cubist Poet
Na~Ledge - Thought it was a Dream

[K9_THESHIT]

very nice Dev...you're improving fast man...the storyline was very nice,and giving that touch with the BBC news(you've done it before,but still a good idea)really made the story better.the imagery was done well...the wordchoice was good and you blended in good the upper words..i liked the rhymescheme,you're improving on that too,and the piece flowed well.i didn't see any flaws that stood out,except your begining.i found it a little fast paced for a begining.always like reading your stuff man.Keep it up!

Peace!

[Na~Ledge]

I like this structure especially for a read such as this. REally adds to the story. As usualy your vocab and imagery were on point, but you have always done a good job with that in your writing. I've have really seen a lot of improvement in y9our writings over the psat few months, and reading your stuff is helping me to become a better writer. The emotin within in this piece really showed throw. Always enjoy reading your drops. Keep elevating. Hit me up some time for another collab. Peace

[TEXT MESSAGE]

That was fire...the topic was interesting...the verse was rather long but all the way through interesting...I really like the first paragraph or segment haha...but overall this was absolutely fire...good drop...OUT

[Neruda II]

Hmm...I like the story, it was definitely original. I bit out of the normal spectrum but at least it wasn't about some one selling crack and then getting shot..I hate those stories. The only thing I don't like is the tone of the piece. It's a very boring and bland tone, not much excitement in it. Usually your pieces grasp me and pull me into the story very quickly but as I read this, I almost wanted to stop halfway through. Your structure was diferent, it was new, and it worked very well at times but at other times, it really bothered the rhythm. Vocabulary was strong as always, dope word choice. Overall, I think this was a pretty good, original story, with good imagery, nice vocabulary, but the tone and the pace of the story really messed it up for me. I'm glad that you're writing though, I hope you keep at it.

[Deviate]

Thanks...

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[Deviate]

Sleeping

[Deviate]

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