thanks alot yo.
thanks alot yo.
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This was pretty good. Imagery was present and you held my attention okay. I thought some lines came a little forced, but it wasn't too bad on the whole. Definately well above par drop though, and well thought out. Good stuff.
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Nice om, I didn't really feel like the intro was needed but that is probably just my taste. There wasn't a whole lot of complexity as far as the vocabulary is concerned (btw its spelled "window pane") but the multiple syllables made it a fluidly, consistent read. You know its funny how, at the very beginning, it sounded like the two guys were going to be homosexual, then the story spiraled into true form. Just thought I'd lol myself for that. Good work, now pick up a microphone!
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