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Thread: Good Fortune

  1. #1
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    Good Fortune

    Good Fortune

    growing up in a small town, where society's overrun by trends
    all you can do is frown, surrounded by your artificial friends
    even though it means nothing in the end, they keep wearing their lies
    no one really has a hand to lend, like cruetly is some sort of prize
    and everybdoy displays a disguise, the truth might spoil their image
    no kind, welcoming smiles, just exclusion and long looks of grimace
    to portray a unique style, is an automatic ticket to loneliness
    unless you fashion what everyone else does, its like you dont exist
    but most judge amiss, and take pleasure from causing disruption
    no need to cut wrists for a world that has been taken by corruption
    young minds have been poisoned, everyone sorted into different classes
    some kids getting beat up and robbed for as little as wearing glasses
    almost fascists, and this kind of treatment should never happen
    why should you be ridiculed wheather love rock and roll or rappin
    yet everyones laughing, but violence and hate continue to form
    were waiting for the calm, but already were engulfed by a storm
    swimming in arrogance, our brains are fogged with incoherance
    insensible thought, thinking one is greater, solely by appearance
    and these are the problems, people you hang with, or the clothes you wear
    certain dialogue, a different race, sports, even the colour of your hair
    friend or foe, self-expression shouldnt matter, we breath the same air
    life is taken for granted, because people would rather be a millionaire
    adolescence has taught me, as a youth you are constantly delerious
    so quick to be furious, and taking high school status far too serious
    now a days, social rank is getting blown way out of proportion
    too many people are being blinded by the illusion of good fortune


    aight, this is pretty much true for the town i live in, this was a battle on another site, didn't feel like writing a new OM so i will post this up, word
    Last edited by Germ; April 11th, 2005 at 05:52 PM

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  2. #2
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  3. #3
    Banned Chronic Cancer's Avatar
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    its...how should i say this..down to earth...i guess....its ight straight........nice concept too...but u should have stayed with the multis in the beginning......over all good shit............

  4. #4
    consistentmp
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    *noding head* in agreement wit him^...keep at it...thought it was straight...also thought it had some deepness to it...look at my shit in my pro "Damn Life's A Bitch" also some deep shit...1

  5. #5
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    ^ whoa, i like how active this site his, lol, yes, i put alot of thought into the first half of it, then ran out, haha......if you need anything looked at, i'd be happy too, thanks, uppin

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  6. #6
    Banned Chronic Cancer's Avatar
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    yo look a my shit too.......

  7. #7
    La Foret Incineratedrose's Avatar
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    yeah well, i just didnt really like the concept? what is this? i life story or something?

    try more creative topics and push yourself.

    but stay at it, you need more internals, and these was like 2 multi's in there.. at the most..

    so stay at it, but improve.
    MondoThugs.

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    Meta. Convicts

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  8. #8
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    ^ word, i did my best not to go down the typical road of the topic given to me, and it kinda sounds like you are drunk, haha

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  9. #9
    MXC
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    feelin this
    keep up the work.

  10. #10
    The True Psycho of RB
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    This was a good verse you touched on some real topics but i thought you would go the corny route but you didnt the rhymes were raw and real.
    The vocab really helped this piece you describe your thoughts and feelings clear the only thing i thought was off was the flow it wasnt that good but your vocab and the deep content made the verse dope.

    Return the favour:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=185131

  11. #11
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    Thats true hood lyfe right there! i'm glad i got away from dat shit!!! momma wasn't so lucky though! That shit was straight from da heart . way 2 go bro!!!

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by incineratedrose
    yeah well, i just didnt really like the concept? what is this? i life story or something?

    try more creative topics and push yourself.

    but stay at it, you need more internals, and these was like 2 multi's in there.. at the most..

    so stay at it, but improve.
    ^ word, now that im sober....
    1. yes, i am basing it off life experience
    2. this was a topic given to me in a battle on RV
    3. more internals, maybe....multies, there was enough...but sometimes simplicity is the key yo
    4. i will
    5. thank you for the feedeveryone, i will get at your pieces if you have them

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  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by incineratedrose
    yeah well, i just didnt really like the concept? what is this? i life story or something?

    try more creative topics and push yourself.

    but stay at it, you need more internals, and these was like 2 multi's in there.. at the most..

    so stay at it, but improve.
    Yeh Thts About Right I Think.....Maybe Add Sum Vocab...
    Return Tha Favour On Somethin Of Mine

  14. #14
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    Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//Aim for tha head/ when u say im gon getem nigga//cass lit they ass just to let them know u aint playin witem
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    alright not a very true verse to tha title but its alright just work on staying on da topic or just change it aight. work on ur vocab and structure more wasnt feelin tha vocab too much but u did ur thing just keep on workin aight and ull elevate ok. overall verse rate-4.5/10

  15. #15
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    alright, well i guess you didn't read the whole verse, but whatever....good fortune can mean alot more than just one thing you know, although i guess thats what people base verses off on here, i do not like writing my verses the way everyone else would, i try approachin them from different angles......but it works for some and not for others......feed noted

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