Comatose November

[hollywoodnt]

Here and gone..

Completely Comatose. Mellow actions lead to overdose.
They tied the rope around my neck to see me choke,
Friends can't joke about my confidence anymore
When I'm unconcious with my tounge on the floor
But maybe they can, since I can't hear them converse
All I know is my mind's a trap, for bad things gone worse
I used to rehearse poetry, and study hard until night
Until blotched paper had entered my life through a fight
My parents we're right, I'm a failure, now and always
Until my brain scabs over... and heals my owies
I'll always be thinking about having courage to act
But the feeling is sinking, being held down by straps
Reacting to flashbacks, tripping on memory lane
Being hit by cars, and trains...going both ways
It's crazy to say... but that's basically all i remember
It's not easy to survive a birthday, in early november.
Candles we're blown, I wished for ever lasting life
Told my friend.... look where I am tonight...
Living to die..all 'cause of fights amoungst my elders
Turned to my friends and they brought me shelter
A roof over a hospital bed, my life is so fantastic
All because of one night..... That I had to try acid.


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...36#post2264536
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...54#post2264554

[guererouscg]

nice flow

[GenoH]

nice flow..was good throughout the whole verse

8/10

[hollywoodnt]

feedback please

[.Xtenkae.]

very nice flow and nice ryming and structure i was really liking that man nice.

[hollywoodnt]

..becuase nobody's reading......

[hollywoodnt]

last up...........................................

[Foreshadow]

The story was nice and I think that the flow was good. I thought that this was a good drop.