One

[Issue]

One

One Love. One Music. One People. One Movement.
One Heart... One Spark.
One, One, One, One...
One Gift. One Lift. One Stance. One Shift.
One Way... One Day.
One, One, One, One, One...
This is for all the children who didn't get to meet there father.
For all the motherless victims lost in the system where life's harder...
For all the martyr's on there marches... For the dead to show we miss them.
For those who'd rather die there lives than live them, those in a position of losses...
Where there isn't no costs, just a division of faces lost in the racism.
Nations of wasted lives embracing racist lies, patiently waiting for genocide...
Creating a wall of hate in each of our eyes, making us believe in a day when he'll re-arise.
I re-emphasise that its all lies, I realise that we're are blind to this devil in disguise...
But I know he'll rise, I can see it in my mind and feel it in my heart.
I can only express in rhyme for the most part, our time wont start until we open up our souls.
These lines hopefully will re-mark where you've already been scarred,
I don't find nothing hard because I can't not believe, my dreams can't be marred, I can't be decieved.
My belief is that when we all recieve eachother as equal people...
When we feel one another and steal away the evil. We've all been decietful to a brother,
We've all needed a sister but do we bother to let her exist without insisting that we need to kiss her?
Do we ever wish her happiness on her own, and let a girl grow?
Do we know how far behind we go when we wont even show love to those we call mother...
All the cries of thunder in the skies, all the signs of wonder in any guys eyes...
They're all redundant silent sighs subsided,
When the thunder sounds its a hundred misguided mouths lost in silence.
When the rain fall its to guide us to shelter, to hide us from the weather and cries that we created.
Its a makeshift dangerous impression of Hell, and we're the ones who made it,
So we must face it. We must become patient and wait for the maker to belatedly punish us.
We must run into the arms of God, fully expecting him to banish us.
We must partake in the fate promised to us, and we must believe and recieve all thats honest to us...
We must understand that none of us will get through life safely, we must live it as well sd we can and go on bravely.

One Love. One Music. One People. One Movement.
One Heart... One Spark.
One, One, One, One...
One Gift. One Lift. One Stance. One Shift.
One Way... One Day.
One, One, One, One, One...
This is for all the single mothers in the struggle, under the pressure of life and its consequences.
No defences to the pain etched on there babies brain, they weren't meant to gain a life so young.
They were kept to accept fun not be left to overcome this depth or this outcome...
No-one will accept the fact that babies shouldn't have babies, no 14 year old is a lady.
And the only reason this world is going crazy is because there ain't no saviour...
The lords considered a failure and we only pray for favours not returned, and then burn when spurned.
Every corner we turn is a sin in itself, ordering people to seek help isn't gonna help them help themselves.
The deeper we dealve into another persons life the further we fall into these forgotton childrens lives.
We hide in the darkness and swear we didn't start this. We induce arguments,
We target the less fortunate, we all have an arsenal as large as we need it,
We only take our own word to heed it. We attacked the blacks 'til they were weakened,
But we never expected they would rise and our lives would be the ones defeated.
We see that the foreign are targets for our coldhearted racism,
We take planes with no names and put faces in 'em, we hastely wake every morning to rush...
We fakely say we answer to Blair and to Bush, when we push we push too much or not enough.
We blush when we touch and we're too quick to judge. We're just too sick with love,
Our skins too thick and our bloods too cold, we dont hold hands with those that we loathe.
We never accept that we cant have what we've chose,
Nobody knows why the whole world talks but doesn't really listens, why it looks but never really envisions,
Never truly admit to the divsions we present, then unruly forget that this Isn't What God Meant...

----
I was listening to Immortal Technique's song One and it kinda inspired me to write this, so I used the chorus. Any feed appreciated

Btw, some lines are long but look good now Im previewing it, but when I drop it they'll get fucked up, ignore that!

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...45#post2254945
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...89#post2254989

[K9_THESHIT]

damn issue...your structure was wack...i tried to ignore it,but you should've made those over-stretched lines shorter...other than that,i really liked it.the piece had deep emotions and deep feelings,and i could feel that as i was reading it.the vocabulary was good and helped a lot on transmitting your message a lot better.and you’ve touched many issues(lol) and just ended up raw.it flowed good,liked the rhymescheme,but in a few places the flow suffered…overall a dope piece fam.keep it up!
PS:I think some will sleep on this cuz of the structure…

And if ya have time drop a feed for “Battlefield”(in my sig.)

Peace man!

[AbusivE]

i haven 't seen any OMs from you in a while... but yeah, your structure got annoying after a while, it 's hard to ignore...emotion was good, kept me interested.. the concept of this was good, kinda reminded me of the song "Just a Moment" by Nas and Quan, i dunno why lol... i seen a decent amount of multis, helped your flow alot.. everything in this was very good.. it would have sounded much better of your lines werent so stretched but it was good nonetheless... keep droppin stuff like this..

[~{ExClusive}~]

the fact that you say One to much in the hook was dumb. your lines seem a bit streched which lost the flow. the vocabw as good but blah your imageyr wasnt that good anyway. 1

[Incineratedrose]

it wasn't dumb at all, the title was "one" if you even read that much Exclusive, so fuck off, he is way better than you...

now, i didnt think the structure was annoying at all, i havent seen something like that in a while and i really liked it, the title was tied in very well and i was impressed by this.. you did a very good job and keep at it.

[Issue]

Lol, thank you rose. And Exclusive, the title is one and also the hook isn't mine, its from an immortal technique song... Which kinda proves that you didn't read the piece, fool.

K9 and Abusive, honestly it looked good when I previewed it and when I typed it up on wordpad, its just the fact that my alias and details are on the side and it bunches up the piece, and makes it look stupid. In my opinion, the lines flowed well as i made them, but its just the way it looks...

Anyways, thanks a lot for the feed.

Uppin

[Baron Mynd]

Lol, I have to agree with that one dude about the structure .. Centering it threw this off, you should of just left it. Aside from that, i liked you sampling the hook - I knew what it was from already .. You actually stuck with the vibe Tech uses, which i didnt expect you to do. usually, i'll sample a line from a track - and then build outwards from that, straying from what was originally said. This wasnt bad man. You've got potential.

Stick at it.

[Issue]

Thanks baron... an ill take your advice...

[Johnny 6-feet]

Alleluiah! We have a preacher in our squad! lol.

I liked this man, i felt the conviction in your writing. the structure was off the wall but i felt that helped the piece. Good vocab, solid rhymes and great imagery.

keep on posting.

H'n'R

[Issue]

Thanks Johnny


Uppn

[Incineratedrose]

Lol, thank you rose.

anytime, but seriously, go look at the one he just did and compare.

[Issue]

Lol I dont judge man, thanks anyways.

Uppin

[Deviate]

There is nothing wrong with the structure... I don't understand why people get so worked up about structure... It's a minor technical aspect of it really. The truly important part in an OM is the content and this had excellent content. You wrote around the topic very well, and although it was long it kept me interested to read all the way through. There isn't much for me to criticise... You used good vocabulary and you maintained a level of complexity throughout that I liked. What attracted me to this, however, was the title. The title "One" is very interesting, it has a lot of possibilities. An interesting topic...

Nice work overall... Keep writing...

If you could check out "Tears of the World" in my sig I'd appreciate it.

Peace

[Issue]

Yeh, I really wish people would see past the structure and/or Rapbattles do something about the size of the postscreen.

Anyways, thanks for the reply...

Uppn

[Issue]

Any1 else?