Satan's Soul....

[STAT$]

Satan's Soul

Sold his soul to the devil by slide'n that knife across her throat
Its was murder he wrote as he stood there and watched her choke
On her own blood, ta death, fighten for every last one of her breaths
Aroused as the blood seep'd from the deadly incision on her neck
This sick and twisted bastard just took a life from another innocent wife
Wit the same switch blade knife that he'd already done the same with twice
Now the death counts grows to three, with no evidents and no leads
Just the same four leaders he writes on their teeth...............L-O-V-E
But the love of what? what does he mean by this trademark word?
4 the love of killing? I can't think of another reason why he'd use that term
Now we just wait for him to strike again, whenever he gets the urge within
To pick his next victim and bring their innocent life to an end
We gotta get this man before he brings this horror to another family
But why does he do this? how could you take another life so savagely
Its because he's possessed by the devil, yeah Satan himself
And he was ordered to do this or rott in the fiery depths of hell
See he hears voices in his head that claim to be the dark prince
And they say if he follows out these orders he'll be forever healthy and rich
But one day it got to be to much, and he sat down with a pen and paper
And wrote a letter to god asking for a favor, to please be his savior
As now he plans to end all the maddness and take his own life
To free himself from these demons that he was haunted by every night
In the letter he confesses to the murders and why he wrote the letters
He just wanted to be LOVE'd and he didn't know how to put it any better

[iNFiNiTE A]

the message in this was well defined... i liked this peice im all into satan and selling souls so i can apperciate a drop with that topic.. nicely done

[silent j]

yo that sweet man i like it lots it really deep

[HotWheelz209]

I liked this real deep stuff......keep dropin

[big j da fat boy]

yo this was tight.
something different to the forum.
i liked it alot.
keep do ya thang

[YoungHusla]

deep ass shit man
really really liked it dawg'
hit up my open mike PLAYED WIT SILENT J AIGHT DAWG

[XxPHATExX]

whats the message your trying to send to us man?

[Incineratedrose]

deep ass shit man
really really liked it dawg'
hit up my open mike PLAYED WIT SILENT J AIGHT DAWG

uhh, you are banned, and yes i liked it. but how can you be in Hit n Run? they suck, give you a bad rep, but i thought this was better than your prior ones so keep it up, you are getting better.

[Mantra]

originally posted by iNfiNiTE A
i liked this peice im all into satan and selling souls

^

Anyways I liked this man, i thought the begining
was definitely the best part, had some nice imagery
you could have made a bit of a better transition
though into his repenting where he asked for forgiveness
and what not but still pretty good. I liked the little
twist about his m.o the love thing he wrote on victim's
teeth, that was creative and made for an intresting ending.
Criticism wise i'd have to say your lines felt sorta stretched
and too wordy in spots. Work on that and maybe
upping your vocab a bit; this will help with the wordiness
of your lines. Good use of internal rhyming though, it
helped with the fluidity of your piece. All in
all this was probably the best i've read from you. Keep it
up, i can see you are definitely improving.

-peace

[Laureate]

This was ok....
I wanted you to write a 24 line piece because I wanted to see if you
could hold the piece for that length....and while this drop did fall of in
the middle and at the end...it was still decent....like usual, you try to
cram too many words into your lines....try and lower the syllable count
for your lines....the story in this piece seems rushed, and i think the
ending could have been a little bit better....all in all an ok drop

-Lyric

[_-~Ill~-_]

uhh, you are banned, and yes i liked it

*cough*SNITCH*cough*

anyways very good drop, felt it really deep dawg.....

[Johnny 6-feet]

nice topic, straightforward vocab, some pretty good imagery (pretty twisted as well, lol). some multi's would've helped the flow. but i got to say i'm digging this piece man.

keep posting teammate.

h'n'r

[EXcaliber]

that was kinda whack.work on gettin some punchlines in there

[Na~Ledge]

Very ill drop. Didn't know u did topical. have to get together on collab or something. Anyway vocab was steady, really help to portray the image you were trying to get across in your piece. Definatly be checking for ur next drop.

HNR

[Kobra]

that was kinda whack.work on gettin some punchlines in there

this is open mic not frontlines knobface.

Anyway ignore the herb. I thought this was an excellent piece well done. deep and meaningful and the topic isn't overplayed either. Nice original spit. The vocab was outstanding and it flowed pretty well. I do agree that it did gradually fall off at the end but nobodies perfect. Overall I'd give it a 8/10 -2 for lack of consistantsy