high's and crime's

[comet_one]

how do we turn a blind eye to this life of crime/
when all you have is just pure shit in ya life/
and the only answer to it all is to blaze and get high/
but sometimes to get high you need to use crime/
when high's and crimes are tied, your just destin to die/
coz your testing the guy that supplied the meaning of life/
cos you ticking the lime, and to tick you have time/
but we're blind as a child, running free running wild/
and there will come a time when you get high from the crime/
and realise you need to cut the line on this life of crime/
or you'll be doing time inside, you'll be living with grime/
living on the inside, wishing you had died/

[Ħŷċōŋčëþťś]

This is an alright piece. You should not use da same words to rhyme with during da whole rap. This is what makes da piece boring and uncreative. Keep it up though. Hy

how do we turn a blind eye to this life of crime/
when all you have is just pure shit in ya life/
and the only answer to it all is to blaze and get high/
but sometimes to get high you need to use crime/
when high's and crimes are tied, your just destin to die/
coz your testing the guy that supplied the meaning of life/
cos you ticking the lime, and to tick you have time/
but we're blind as a child, running free running wild/
and there will come a time when you get high from the crime/
and realise you need to cut the line on this life of crime/
or you'll be doing time inside, you'll be living with grime/
living on the inside, wishing you had died/

[Crakk]

dis Iz Alright...but Like He Said U Shouldnt Use Tha Same Werds To Rhyme Wit....up Ya Vocab Ok....but Flow Was Aiight....ok Shyt Right Here....ez

[TheUnborn]

alright??? that sucks/
it`s not creative, it`s sucks/
it`s boring, simple, it`s sucks/
if u were a street player
i wouldn`t put a cent in your hat
cause it`s sucks,
well, in the end, i`ve told u that it`s sucks?
really sucks!!!
but....Keep it up though!!

[CrazyCarl]

Some stuff didn't rhyme too good. Try to be aware of what you are rhyming, and have been rhyming over the course of writing a verse. You had an alright concept, but you need to go into more detail. Keep writing, and you'll get better at keeping the verse going to have a longer piece. Also your rhyming will improve.
Return the feedback
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=178612

[warchild]

I wasnt really feeling this verse i think the topic was good but you just didnt say anything interesting and your rhymes were just repetitive and boring.
Your flow vocab and bar structure needs work keep writing cause the more you write the more you'll learn.

Return the favour.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=180994