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Thread: A Friends Lost Words

  1. #1
    Fear Before The March Foreshadow's Avatar
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    A Friends Lost Words

    I don’t know how to express the fact of friendship
    I stress love and life but all together I just mend shit
    Without the words even mentioned, I’ve caught your attention
    Last year I wrote something and pulled you from depression
    If I had to save your life I would do it without question
    I look to you like an older brother trying to learn lessons
    I ponder what if questions, on how to fuck all this depression
    I know your past and I’ve seen you at your worst
    And that shit all just hit home again and man it hurts
    I may not be the best man with words, but this is more
    These are my inner most thoughts being laid on the floor
    I may not come around as much as I used to
    I’m just caught up in what I doing so much when actually I miss you
    It would kill me to know that anything bad could happen
    A friend should be there when a friend puts life into fractions
    I’m sorry that last year took a toll on you and I’m sorry
    I think its great that you might join the marines and I might join the army
    I’m going to miss all the times that we shared even when fighting
    Because you are my best friend, Your white rice and I’m white lightning
    All the memories that we share are some of the best ones that I have
    When Dylan was bitch and when we basically messed with your mom and dad
    I won’t forget, they will live with me forever, don’t be with someone for just pleasure
    I know that you really want someone who understands YOU
    Not some stupid bitch that’s down to just fuck and duck
    But out of all this I STILL LOVE YOU
    And I pray for your life and that you have the best of luck dude

  2. #2

  3. #3
    Green Hour Madness Bounce's Avatar
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    I can not critique such a drop, this is something personnel and deeply rooted between two friends,(or so it seems). I can tell you that I though it was bold of you to express yourself as such, so my hats off ot you for that, it seems like us old school cats see that as taboo, but in the end I admire you for it. I enjoyed this, as it seemed genuine and from the heart. keep them coming man.
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  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    yeah this was a good peice. except for the cussing every here and there, that kinda took away some of the emotion, but thats probaly just me, other then that the emotion was strong. topic was good, i 've seen things like this but you came harder on it. structure was good, 1-2 lines seemed a bit stretched but other then that everything flowed well. multis were there. it was easy to understand the message you were saying so yeah i enjoyed this alot.. nice drop

  5. #5
    Fear Before The March Foreshadow's Avatar
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    Thanks for the feedback bounce and abusive.

  6. #6
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    yo fam that was some deep shit,you had some slick rhymes in there,i liked the whole thing,the concept,the rhymes and just the way you put was fucking sick so keep up the good shit........stay sick mafucker

  7. #7
    Art... K9_THESHIT's Avatar
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    a good drop man,real strong feeling in it.it's delicate stuff,the strong friendship of two people...very hard to spit it out,but ya pulled it off.would've liked if ya went a little deeper in the subject,do the piece a little longer.but it's still strong the way it came out.and i wanna say i don't agree totaly with abusive.sometimes,for ex "on how to fuck all this depression",the usage of a curse trows the emotion to higher levels,ya know what i'm sayn?but some other curses ya used...would've been better if ya avoided them.the message stood out from most of the lines,again good,did a few multis,good stucture...good drop.keep droppin!Peace!
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  8. #8
    All Things Must Pass. Issue's Avatar
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    Deep, good expression.

    Obviously your friendship is powerful, and you expressed it ultimately with this piece.

    There's nothing else to say really, good work.

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176702
    ...Check that if you will, thanks.

  9. #9
    Fear Before The March Foreshadow's Avatar
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    Thanks for the feedback.

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