Father to Son

[AbusivE]

Dear son, looking at you, i 'm glad to be your father
It 's been fun, but at these times we gotta work harder
So this is a prayer, a note and a letter from me
I want you to be stronger and to do things better then me
I 'm here for you when your down and when hope cant be found
The days you used to cry loud, but now.. as a father, i'm proud
At times i cant help to cry; i find it hard to breathe.... because
i know somethings i didnt do right, but plz accept my apologies
I 'm giving you my love, N support to get through when its rough
You gotta stand tough, and think the same way as the man above
Yeah, There is a purpose in life and.... it 's your job to find it
Grow up and bring peace, the same way Jesus Christ did
Living far from your mom; but face your fears, dont bother to run
When i speak these words to you..... it 's father to son



Haven 't written anything in a while =\.. thought i 'd post something quick before i went to bed, so here it is lol.. yeah it 's short, i didn 't spend that much time on it.


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176358
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176317

[GenoH]

this was some nice shit man....it was basic but nice and it had good flow

[Provoked Images]

it sounded DMX'ish but didn't have the complete in-you-face-service-with-a-smile feel...
as a drop it was basic nothing special, the vocab was a lil easy and the metaphors/similies/fascimilies etc etc, weren't there and/or noticable...
your end-of-the-line multi's need some work...
the topic was nothing over the top but topic's never been a big thing for me...

a solid piece, it'd get a 5 out of 10...

[warchild]

This was a decent verse the concept was something close to you so there was good emotion in the words but i thought you could of made this piece a bit longer maybe 2 verses would be enough to cover this topic.
But as it is its just a short poem it was good though.
The structure was ok the vocab was ok but could be worked on the flow was ok but the emotion you put in the rhymes made it stand out.

Reply to this please.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176403

[AbusivE]

thanks for the feed y 'all... yeah i didn 't spend much time writin this, i just wanted to write something lol... uppppin... drop links n i 'll return the favor

[Na~Ledge]

It was kinda basic and short but I felt the point still got across. I could tell it was heart felt so thats always a good thing. Next time just try to elaborate a little andu might want to think of uppin te vocab.

[Chris Black]

This was ill shit. I love the emotion and the whole concept of a father talking to his son and appologizing. Flow was ill. The only thing I'd change is to make it longer. good shit. Keep writing.

My Open Mic: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176429

[ThE kId BiG]

this was preety good, i loved the fact that it all stayed in the same topic and that you didnt change the topic in the middle and shit... you said you didnt post in a while, but you aont rusty :-)

[AbusivE]

word, i might add more to it, i dunno.. thanks for the feed y 'all... upppin.. drop links

[Issue]

Yeh, this was good.

A bit short, maybe if you extended it make a verse from son to father or something you know, add a bit more emotion to it.

I really liked your opener, its very simple but very well put, nice work.
Sometimes it fell off, and sometimes it came really nice but most of all this was a good drop, better than the last from you I read.... lol

7.5/10 keep writing

[K9_THESHIT]

it's kinda simplistic,but a good concept to the main idea(which ya followed it.good...tayed on topic)a piece with fealings in it,father-son talk,it's strong.the vocab was again simplistic,need to work on that to express thoughts in a mo variaty of ways.again what ya needed is to go in a little deeper in the subject,made it longer,touched more ideas,squeeze in more fatherly feelings,ya know?but as ya said ya wrote it just befo' goin to bed quickly...

please return the favour
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176263

[G-Money]

i liked this piece cuz i can relate more(i gotta daughter) i understand those lines about crying n shit .... so the topic touched me more.... i like the wordplay, it was short but sweet cuz u got straight to the point n had specific details .... n e ways nice drop

[AbusivE]

thanks guys.... last up... leave links

[Jay Mel]

Real fucking good man, i love the concept towards because my style is more depth towards the topic and i enjoyed the flow...It seemed as if you wernt focused on it and getting your message out and trying to do something...Man this is pretty good, almost close to dope...Keep doing you man!

[ThE kId BiG]

i know i already posted but this is too nice not to post a 2nd time... props