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Thread: Knock Knock......Bitch.

  1. #1
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    Knock Knock......Bitch.

    Knocking at my door.... just who could it be?
    The thought of a friend just seems so obscene
    I lean towards the door - eye on the spy hole
    Nobody was there but it didn't seem vital..
    But I needed to know who was there -
    .......................................seemed viral as hell
    So I stepped onto the downward-spiral stair-well..
    "Hello?!" I shouted. Looking for an aquaintance
    Seemed as if God was only testing my patience
    Became evasive, dodging every stranger in the hall
    Made out with Jack Daniels as my bed carassed my fall
    *knock knock knock*
    "One second I'm busy."
    *knock knock knock*
    "I said fuck off I'm busy!"
    *knock knock knock*
    "C'mon man fuck! This had better be important!"
    *nobody there?*
    "I'll leave your limbs sorted! Missing child parts'll be reported!"
    My last fuse had shorted. Sparks were gonna fly,
    I called up Jimmy Bean, he wanted me to die..
    I passed out, felt numb as my head hit the floor..
    *knock knock knock*
    Felt dumb, 'cause I need to kill the guy at the door
    But it'll havta wait until morning
    'Cause I have some mourning to do...
    (6 hrs later)
    *knock knock knock*
    *KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*
    "What, huh... who's there?"
    *KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK"
    "KNOCKITY KNOCK BITCH!" I reached for my glock..
    Flung open the door and I killed a cop..
    .............Shocked, I stopped. Asked what I did it for...
    Probably because he wanted to question me
    .................................About a knocking at my door....
    shit.



    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176056
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...12#post2149212
    Last edited by hollywoodnt; March 7th, 2005 at 10:39 PM Reason: links

  2. #2
    yea... Red_'s Avatar
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    yo this a tight,hot drop!

    i like the way the story went!

  3. #3
    GhettoFabolous
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    This was pretty tyte, i dint like al da knock knock bits but it kinda helped ur story so it worked out aiight in da end. The twist was good, tho i saw it comin bout it bein a cop cuz of ur rhyme scheme. Try n keep us guessin. Overall, nice drop.

  4. #4
    DrFunkMD
    Guest
    Dayamn nigga that was tight! Dropped dat shit like it was hot!

    Fo shizzle! Word is born!

  5. #5
    Will Merk You
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    lol this was a real nice read.. i particularly thought the first half was fire.. the 2nd half was kool.. kinda fell off a bit, but thats cuz u were setting up your ending, which was a kool twist.. i like when theres a meaning or twist to something.. this was a good storytelling piece, u coulda maybe made it longer but yeah, good work
    hit this up plz
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176138
    Good Luck. You're Gonna Need It.

  6. #6
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    thx for the feedback....

  7. #7
    Ipsum Provoked Images's Avatar
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    I liked the story, sort of... It was boring, well, until the twist...
    It seemed like you might have tried doing a Hitchcock suspense of some sort, I don't know...

    the flow seemed off and needed some work, it would be all good, then change, just to go back to the original, or maybe it's just me...

    the vocab wasn't spetacular but i don't mind that all that much...

    As for overall with the skill and all that... with a good voice and a dope beat to harmonize this, it may have been a lower-rate single but worth a CD drop for filler...

  8. #8
    consistentmp
    Guest
    It was straight....good story tellin....nothing to exciting...all overall it was straight keep at it.

  9. #9
    You've Earned a Custom Title! REality's Avatar
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    hmmm lmao i like the story but the ending seemed kind of weird so who the hell was knocking? lol

    good drop though i liked reading it

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by REality
    hmmm lmao i like the story but the ending seemed kind of weird so who the hell was knocking? lol

    good drop though i liked reading it
    little hoodlums haaa

  11. #11
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    meh last up

  12. #12
    Dune Methane CrazyCarl's Avatar
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    Had some nice vocab in there. Story was alright, descriptive in spots. Good concept about the drinks, and the ending was nice, pretty good setup for it.
    Return the feedback
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=175493

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