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Thread: I'm back........and better than ever

  1. #1
    I'm Bakk!
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    WestCoast
    Age
    35
    Posts
    775
    Battle Record
    17-9

    I'm back........and better than ever

    Ayo, Like 50 I'm spittin out lyrical massacre
    words affectin the population lika natural disaster
    Fathering these lyrically less fortunate bastards
    & reshape'n the game like Imma fuckin stair master
    Strippin back to the orginal like a sand blaster
    Keepin yall up to date like a news broadcaster
    I'm so fabulous comin to the mic wit all this real talk
    About how shit goes down on my block
    Got a few packin the glocks and choppin the rocks
    But that ain't where the real shots are being pop'd
    I'm talkin bout the sands of Iraq where the wars bein fought
    And young lives being taken, bodies being mistaken
    Cuz you can't identify dental records on blown off faces
    But we got rappers worried about their record sales
    When we got record sales in headstones from troops sacrificing themselfs
    So we can live free and be all we can be
    And please believe being over there in the heat its no cup a tea
    So realize that, don't be ungrateful and do your part
    Cuz Karma is real and shit will come back to bless your heart
    Last edited by STAT$; March 6th, 2005 at 09:41 PM

  2. #2
    Instaboner XxPHATExX's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Posts
    916
    Battle Record
    5-3
    nice bro freal, dont like the whole 50 thing cuz that cd really sucked, n i didnt like how u rhymed for like 4 lines, it had decent flow and good feeling. needs a title and ur good to go. nice job
    bitch
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  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Posts
    9,864
    Took my words rite outta my mouth !

  4. #4
    Banned Ike Ill.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    4,321
    Battle Record
    89-12
    Awards 75+ Wins
    This wasnt bad...

    I dont really know what to say, needs a better title a better opening line. other than that I dont see much of a problem. You had a nice vocabulary all in all you just need a straighter, longer structure if you wanna catch my attention better.

    Good meaning, but cant ac the top from the beginning.

    Peace.

  5. #5

  6. #6
    www.theilleffect.com djb's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    folsom ca
    Age
    39
    Posts
    3,086
    Battle Record
    7-6
    return good stuff here. not my perference of om but i liked it. this would be much better in audio. i think that is what this is going to be also. so that is good. your style amazes me. no matter how hard i try i cant write like you. you have the capiblitity to be clever i cannot do that. this was writen like something common sense would rap. i liked it. actually some pretty good meaning in there. just gotta look for it. nice to see you back reppin' stay up man!
    Follow at
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    Music --->>>>
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  7. #7
    Twin Cities 651 Laureate's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Minnesota 651
    Posts
    6,473
    Battle Record
    91-11
    Awards OFOTK Champion Haiku Champion Legendary PC Legendary Member PC HOF OM HOF 75+ Wins
    This was straight....some creativity...altho some of the concept were played...nice key tho Return.
    A few achievements here and there

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  8. #8
    I'm Bakk!
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    WestCoast
    Age
    35
    Posts
    775
    Battle Record
    17-9
    uppin for feedback.....keep it comin

  9. #9
    ThE kId BiG
    Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by STAT$
    Ayo, Like 50 I'm spittin out lyrical massacre
    words affectin the population lika natural disaster
    Fathering these lyrically less fortunate bastards
    & reshape'n the game like Imma fuckin stair master
    Strippin back to the orginal like a sand blaster
    Keepin yall up to date like a news broadcaster
    I'm so fabulous comin to the mic wit all this real talk
    About how shit goes down on my block
    Got a few packin the glocks and choppin the rocks
    But that ain't where the real shots are being pop'd
    I'm talkin bout the sands of Iraq where the wars bein fought
    And young lives being taken, bodies being mistaken
    Cuz you can't identify dental records on blown off faces
    But we got rappers worried about their record sales
    When we got record sales in headstones from troops sacrificing themselfs
    So we can live free and be all we can be
    And please believe being over there in the heat its no cup a tea
    So realize that, don't be ungrateful and do your part
    Cuz Karma is real and shit will come back to bless your heart
    ^ im feeling this... some hott shit, i like the fact you stayed with one type of rhyme ''massacre, disaster, bastards, stair master''

    return the feeback:

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...06#post2145806

  10. #10
    sexi_dominicana
    Guest
    if that was your best i dont want to hear your worst... it wasnt bad or nothing... but it wasnt good... the word play was good, really good, some ok rhymes... multies were shit cause there werent any to begin with, flow was decent... ah whatever... soso... work on it

  11. #11
    I'm Bakk!
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    WestCoast
    Age
    35
    Posts
    775
    Battle Record
    17-9
    Word.......this is not my best work lol Its just a (key) but anyway thanx for the feed.....keep it comin

  12. #12
    sexi_dominicana
    Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by STAT$
    Word.......this is not my best work lol Its just a (key) but anyway thanx for the feed.....keep it comin
    my only adive to u and a lot of ppl in this site... add more MULTIESS!!!! lol

  13. #13
    I'm Bakk!
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    WestCoast
    Age
    35
    Posts
    775
    Battle Record
    17-9
    ^^^ ok *labels her "queen of multis"*......well keep the feed comin pz

  14. #14
    sexi_dominicana
    Guest
    ^^^ lol!!! joker

  15. #15
    Can I Buss
    Guest
    Wasn't to bad, had a nice flow .
    Good structure, this was a nice well rounded piece .
    Stay up .

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