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Thread: Lead

  1. #1
    Evolve FanTa ZeE's Avatar
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    Lead

    Stop to listen to the smell of alcohol and cigerettes,
    And drown in sorrowed metaphors that pierce the air like bad tyrets,
    And make you gasp and breathe it in pollution of a hopeless mind
    And grasp the benefits within, that stretch loyalty far and promise, wide,
    That tears apart the root of hate thats grinding black behind hell's gate,
    That stoked the fires of the wild that cursed at all with no debate,
    Related to the punishment of being forced to walk alone,
    Driven by lyrics, preachers lies that belittled all and rescued none,
    What they will dribble you will hail and bare the burden with no avail,
    And smite the wicked, fly their sails and stumble on, a body frail,
    A pale yet powerful female, with eyes wide open for record sales,
    Not following strict and morbid tale, what was wrote in the Bible, in fine detail,
    Music manual, mind marked pages, in a frenzy of hidden rages,
    Stages of writing, bars of ten, that meant nothing when passed through age's,
    Phases of the mildly hated, aspiring to be someone new,
    To not walk in the shadows of idols, but to let your own sunlight carry through....
    Def Poets

  2. #2
    That Shit Cray Chris Black's Avatar
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    This was a cool piece. All of your OMs are very poety. Breezy read. Keep up the good work.
    Hence Forward
    axis powers

  3. #3
    Evolve FanTa ZeE's Avatar
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    thatnks for the reply ... more?
    Def Poets

  4. #4
    Na~Ledge
    Guest
    Nice drop. Impressive. Really enjoyed the way ur vocbulary captured the imagery of the piece. Kinda short compared to some of your other work but it was in deepht enough to capture what u were trying to say. Ill. Uppin ur next drop.

  5. #5
    Evolve FanTa ZeE's Avatar
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    hey thanks guys!
    Def Poets

  6. #6
     
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    Nice. Your opening line grabbed my attention. Nice vocab used and this was a good read

    Keep it up

  7. #7
    The True Psycho of RB
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    Dope verse great imagery really deep concept and deep raw rhymes.
    The structure and vocab were on point the flow was ok but it was just raw so i thought it was dope.

    Return the favour.
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=175486

  8. #8
    Evolve FanTa ZeE's Avatar
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    woah its a long while since anyone said i was dope lol
    Def Poets

  9. #9
    All Things Must Pass. Issue's Avatar
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    This was not your best piece, but still a good piece.

    In this you seemed to be concentrating more on the rhyming, which is good but you lost that bit of deepness which made it seem that much better.
    Vocab was above par, as was most things.
    But I liked you're other pieces more, this just seemd like something you used to beat writers block...


    Lol, keep writing

    Jafu!

  10. #10
    All Things Must Pass. Issue's Avatar
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    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=175778

    Check that out if you have the time, thanks

  11. #11
    Evolve FanTa ZeE's Avatar
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    i did have the writers block thing covered.
    Def Poets

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