am the new kid on the block
and i cant be stoped am going
be spitting till a drop i juss
got into this rap game am
trying get on top having niggas
trip and step on you nigga that aint right i guess
its cause am the new kid on the block
huh? but fuck that i wont take that
work my on top like 2pac climb the
moutain of this game and find the
fountain of fame when i do am
going stay on top till drop
To keep a freestyle like this going longer, write more as practice. This could be structured better so it would be easier to read. Flow was alright, try and add more context dealing with what you're freestyling about.
it was ok but kinda childish, that topic is to bland
And ur lines are weird, I dont know what uu were doin
Just keep practicing
very childish.....make it way longer and elevate and yull get there
return the favor please
In ma sig
That was poor i just got bored straight away reading it the structure is horrible the vocab and flow is also poor.
You need to sit down and structure your rhymes better then write about something that will grab the attention.
Return the favour.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=175486
dat was ok but needs elevatin
You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.
You the new kid of shit i dont know who you been Rymen with
its a load of crack come to liverpool you get snatched from that
im white im not black a new breed a new kind deep in your heart the lyrics youl find
but for now you at the bottomyour lyrics just aint nothin
like a game of golf im pottin like i said you just aint nothjin
that was mroe like a poem but it was just hard to read because the way you typed it....check out other peoples flows n model yours that way...~1~
It was never a poem...
But man, yeh elevate a lot.
Work on your structure, I couldnt keep up with your rhyme scheme in this piece.
Was a little basic, honestly you need a to elevate a lot.
Not that there was no potential, everyone has potential, just keep writing man, good luck
nah, not my style... too short
but keep on and write bigger lines, i hate that little lines shit
Posting Rules
Reply With Quote