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Thread: Home Truths

  1. #1
    Life & Times
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Age
    38
    Posts
    2,140
    Battle Record
    39-16

    Home Truths

    Title: Home Truths

    [Chorus - Sing]

    From the heart, a childs life torn apart
    This is the story of a painful youth
    People throwin darts, why do they start
    This is nothin but home truths

    [Verse 1]
    I try to keep my composure despite rumours and exposure
    The grapevine around me adds to the weight on my shoulders
    I'm only 17 but gotta act older and at times it's hard to handle
    I wasnt ever shown one, so how can I set a good example?
    I've been trampled on and kicked down through the years
    And it appears my peers like to see me close to or in tears
    My biggest fear is that my brothers sometime feel how I do
    I'd die for 'em so they dont live with what I've lived through
    And I aint gon' renew no-more grudges, they not in my plans
    Ya'll gotta understand I aint a coward I'm just the bigger man
    I dont wanna put my hands on anyone, turnin over a new leaf
    My beefs will be brief coz I'll just sit back and I'll grit my teeth
    I just can't believe everybody always gotta run their mouth
    Talkin bout me and talkin bout shit they know nothin about

    [Chorus - Sing]
    From the heart, a childs life torn apart
    This is the story of a painful youth
    People throwin darts, why do they start
    This is nothin but home truths

    [Verse 2]
    In 2002 my uncle died, my whole perception on life changed
    Between me and my friends hurtful words were exchanged
    So I had to re-arrange my thoughts, I admit that I was wrong
    That shit went on too long, but we back where we belong
    And as a unit we're strong, cant nothin ever bring us down
    All my life ya'll been around, and we growin up together now
    I vow to be here for you all, how could I allow myself to go
    I want ya'll to know I wont leave, no-matter what life throws
    Although we've had our highs and lows we got through it
    And if there's anythin I can do for ya'll, believe me I'll do it
    So I commit my future to bein with my friends, by their sides
    Coz they've been by mine everytime I smiled happily or cried
    So I think of ya'll with pride, it's just the way that I should
    Coz I'm glad ya'll have been with me through my childhood

    [Chorus - Sing]
    From the heart, a childs life torn apart
    This is the story of a painful youth
    People throwin darts, why do they start
    This is nothin but home truths
    LM
    The Life
    & Times
    ...The Rhymes

  2. #2

  3. #3
    LX...Bitch
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    4,933
    Battle Record
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    Awards FL Champion 50+ Wins
    Mos def a nice ass drop...vocab was on point...Imagery was decent...and i liked the flow alot....Overall for a comeback drop..u getta

    8/10

    Good job
    LethalXpressionZ

    Xpressing Lethalness

  4. #4
    This is very honest, I liked it. It was tight, and very structurally sound. Kinda reminded me of Kanye West...in a good way.
    SPITTIN' THE ILLEST SHIZ SINCE '69 (hehe, get it? 69)

  5. #5
    Angel
    Guest
    im used to seeing good stuff from u LM we go bk along way!

    this piece was beautiful...and 2 b honest youve been tru 2 your word!

    8/10
    keep up the gd work babe!
    Luv ya

  6. #6
    JollyRoger
    Guest
    It was a good piece, except I have to say for the first verse, it looked like you took a lot from the Eminem song "LIke Toy Soldiers" I don't know if this was intentional or not, but I think if you listen to the song you'll find a lot of similarities. If you've never heard it before, I'd say 8/10 If you have, then it's a 5/10

  7. #7
    Innovator.
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Age
    38
    Posts
    3,990
    Battle Record
    1-1
    real coo piece....word choice could be strengthened..and the flow was coo...this was pretty good actually..feeling the chorus..make an audio...i like..polish it up a bit more though..

    -nique
    AI. Legendary.
    19x HOF. Seven Titles. 50.

  8. #8
    Life & Times
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Age
    38
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    Battle Record
    39-16
    Thanks for feedback so far

    And yeah I've heard 'Like Toy Soldiers' but I didnt wanna take anythin from that. I just wanted to write about me and my feelins and shit, thats how it came out. But feedback is appreciated.

    Uppin
    LM
    The Life
    & Times
    ...The Rhymes

  9. #9
    Na~Ledge
    Guest
    REAL nice piece man...seriously. I could really relate to the story you were telling. Vocab and imagery proved that this was a heartfelt topic for u and it showed in your work. Definatly a worth while read. Few flaws if any.Will be checkin out some of ur other post.


    Plaease Return the Favor. Check the Sig.

  10. #10
    A Married Man Jonezy's Avatar
    Join Date
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    UK
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    Awards 25+ Wins
    pretty cool man..liked the story...deeply written..enjoyed it

  11. #11
    Po'Ethics
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    London
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    37
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    Battle Record
    6-4
    A nice piece... Good story... The vocab and imagery really exposed the skill in this piece. Nice structure, was easy to look at and read. Showed good emotion. Very few problems here and if there were any they were small.

    I enjoyed this - nice piece.

    I'll drop a link later...

    Peace
    Po'Ethics Lives

  12. #12
     
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Posts
    2,643
    Battle Record
    9-8
    Nice peice.

    I liked the chorus and your imagery, it was dope

    keep it up

  13. #13
    Po'Ethics
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    London
    Age
    37
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    6-4
    Check out http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=173701 if you have the time...

    Peace
    Po'Ethics Lives

  14. #14
    Life & Times
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Age
    38
    Posts
    2,140
    Battle Record
    39-16
    Uppin
    LM
    The Life
    & Times
    ...The Rhymes

  15. #15
    Will Merk You
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    South Jersey
    Posts
    1,670
    Battle Record
    21-6
    I'm only 17 but gotta act older and at times it's hard to handle
    I wasnt ever shown one, so how can I set a good example?

    ^^^says it all
    real nice piece here, i usually dont like verses that have a simple rhyme scheme but you used it very affectively i thought, the verses were very fluent.. very good at keeping the reader interested, stayed on topic like a pro, u got alot of potential kid, stay up and keep at this shit, peep mines


    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=172961
    Good Luck. You're Gonna Need It.

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