watching life slip away

[Angel]

I wouldn’t know were to begin
I don’t see why people would really care,
they’d just stop stand and stare
they walk around in there everyday lives
not thinking about people who have to put up a fight

I need to find a escape from this place
feel loved and needed held tight in someone’s embrace
the love I once felt for another
died when I lost them
as I held my baby in my arms
felt new you no. The proud mum;

After that’s second the worst was still to come
Letting go of my baby’s hand
Watching him slip away
was like watching writing fade away in the sand
This is the hardest goodbye id ever have to make
Don’t worry Connor mummy’s coming, just a little late

laying my baby down to sleep
I felt my heart break and I started to weep

I lay there alone looking to your cot
knowing you should be there, but Connor your not
don’t worry baby mummy will never forget
the way she felt on the day we first met!

[demonseed]

MAn ANgel...had some tears there.
By the way, I love the name "Conner". Good choice!
Heartfelt...sad..but sincere.
Id really like to read more of your stuff as well.
Fate got a way of inspiring us....but such inspirations come with desperate losses, rather than extreme pleasures.

...claps on your expression of art..and my condolensces to your heartfelt loss!

[sNoopfox]

Some nice emotion there...Some lines I felt were forced just to catch the rhyme.

Had a nice flow to it and was a pleasent read.
Look into structuring your work abit more which will help it flow better, it would deliver your message and emotions to a higher level.

Nice work though, keep it up.

sNoopfox

[young ryda]

deep shit man i no what u meen in soem ofit i feel da pain
-ryda
love is pain

[MythDirection]

this was so sad i hope it is fiction if not i really feel for you as i too have had a loved one die

poetics wise i agree with sNoopfox though

[Born To Kill]

Very beautiful outpour of pain and emotional devastation.

God, I don't know what I'd do if my daughter left.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Peace

[Black Knight]

It was good keep typing more

[Rezen]

nice, deep meaningfull story,..peace