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Thread: Brainwashed

  1. February 23rd, 2005, 04:53 PM #1
    The Vortex
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    Brainwashed

    Brainwashed...


    Couldn’t care shit about religion imagine blessings from sinners with vile infections?
    High profile appointment politicians orchestrate warfare & declare global victims,
    My loss of patience amazes the non-believing atheists’ who say God is tasteless
    Non-existent entity complete shapeless, ducking Pagans invasions of the faithless
    Graceless neva levitate gravity pump black gloved fist for niggaz who wrote history
    Endured fights from the cavalry apparently conspiracy’ to brainwash folk only theory
    Merely fantasy pipedream & fallacy power of the globe belongs in hands of fiends
    They plotting plans & grimy schemes to expand control land using military – teams
    Officially – mean, broad-faced commit daylight robberies never catch a court-case
    Even if law breaks they cohort for the state
    Morbid mercenary magnates report to base.

    They’ll manipulate ur mans brain then hit u wit the same cosh
    Zombies duped by subliminal waves Prepare for the Brainwash….

    European Royal families swathe in diamonds claiming poor people tax for royalties
    Masonic Lodges house all the secrecies, need to rotate knowledge 360 degrees
    Society bleeds internal organs befall feeble displeased unable to stage upheaval
    Facing rage of the most lethal power struggling monies stand on the base of evil
    Case simple written in black & white they cover every angle of attack & take flight
    Dark Hell just a single candle for light, when stakes get high they gamble your life
    This isn’t paradise here see were stereotyped for general purpose treated unfairly
    More they fool more they feel glee; lies were mixed with truth to build dynasties
    Like crime being free from these cretins, they scam as I talk plan my life sentence
    Telling me to shut my mouth drop weapons
    Methods condition your mind in 60 seconds.

    They’ll manipulate ur mans brain then hit u wit the same cosh
    Zombies duped by subliminal waves     Prepare for the Brainwash….[/SIZE]
    Last edited by The Vortex; February 23rd, 2005 at 04:56 PM
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  2. February 23rd, 2005, 05:00 PM #2
    h0mIcIde
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    this was pretty good, you used good vocab and had good wordplay, but you have to work on the flow...it was a bit off but besides that it was pretty good keep doin ya thing
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  3. February 23rd, 2005, 05:28 PM #3
    sILLable
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    tight shit,nice imagery,i liked tha wordplay,multis,kinda long but still ill.~1~


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  4. February 23rd, 2005, 05:38 PM #4
    Na~Ledge
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    Was definatly feeling this one. Nice imagery and vocab. GREAT topic. It was kinda long but the content made it worth the read. Nice job man uppin your next piece.
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  5. February 23rd, 2005, 06:13 PM #5
    noncentz
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    i enjoyed all of it yo this was flawless work all around.
    to love something,is to die for it ,if you do, your a martyr , but these days music is morbid, false carters ..prohet's for prophet no lie, look how our last martyr was crucified. to put it in it symplicity, you aint true...you wouldnt sacrifice a few dollars for authenticity..
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  6. February 24th, 2005, 08:08 AM #6
    The Vortex
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    good looking out yo glad u enjoyed it in sum way or other

    the dude who said i shud work on the flow??? basicaly it mostly flows all the way without pause from word 2 word hence not much grammar involved

    i'll be sure to Holl@ yo werk later

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=170214

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=172886
    Last edited by The Vortex; February 24th, 2005 at 12:15 PM
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  7. February 24th, 2005, 11:41 AM #7
    Warlcock
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    dope! i loved the vocab ya know... definitly worth the reading... keep bringing the heat...
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  8. February 24th, 2005, 04:09 PM #8
    The Vortex
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    thanx fa props jigga ma nigga

    uppin
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  9. February 24th, 2005, 04:37 PM #9
    Deviate
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    This was good... Good balance of vocabulary mixed with decent metaphors and multies. Flow was off at times partially from the length of your lines maybe but there were times when it was impecable. Definately a nice peace using an individual style. Keep it up man...

    Thanks for the feedback on Messiah Complex.

    Peace
    Po'Ethics Lives
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  10. February 25th, 2005, 07:30 AM #10
    The Vortex
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    good look out D ....it probaly is difficult to hold such long lines to a permanent flow without going off a little now and again


    pz
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  11. February 25th, 2005, 08:21 AM #11
    CrazyCarl
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    I liked the vocab for this, it added to your thought out piece. You were descriptive, and went in depth with the topic you picked. The lines were long, but the context filled the story nicely. The rhyming was alright, you need to make sure you can still establish a rhyme scheme with longer lines.
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  12. February 25th, 2005, 08:37 AM #12
    Baron Mynd
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    Shorten your lines up, DaMn.
    How long have you been here now?
    And you havent realised the point of flow in your pieces?!


    Jesus ..

    WORD P e r f e c t !

    RESERVOIR GODS


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  13. February 25th, 2005, 10:18 AM #13
    The Vortex
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    basicaly Luther i've been here a few weeks... is that long?

    you're obviously hating on me coz im da real Vortex n ur a fake fuck who once used da name

    im actualy a battler so if u really wanna get at me take ie there

    thanx for ur negative reply ill be sure to return the favour

    ha bloody ha suckah

    thanx Crazy Carl for your feedback

    uppin
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  14. February 25th, 2005, 12:32 PM #14
    Ink Thesis
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    lol dude chill.. hes just tryin to tell u to make ur lines a bit shorter coz they really are long and that messes up the flow at times..

    but dont worry, the content was real good so this was quite nice... i like the rhyme scheme along with some of the complexity in your verse which displayed good creativity & some ill ideas and concepts..

    keep it up

    peace
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  15. February 25th, 2005, 01:11 PM #15
    Center Sight
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    yeah there was places here and there that were off, you could work on a better flow.. it wouldve have emphasized this piece more, because as far as content you did a good job here, something to make u think a few times.. u could use a little elevation here n there but do ya thing, peep my joint out

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=172961
    Good Luck. You're Gonna Need It.
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