^appreciated, checked out ur drop. Hot ish man
^appreciated, checked out ur drop. Hot ish man
The reason I went back and said the first part again was becuase I started the story at the end and just wanted to go back and blend it in with the rest of the story, but I see what ur saying. thanx
Still lookin for some suggestions yall tryin to elevate
This is a nice piece... Good story... I especially liked the way how you jumped from present to past. I thought though that each time frame could've been elaborated on a little more. That way a better picture could've been painted. A little more information about the people maybe? I don't know. I liked this.
Maybe a little longer though? I'll look out for your future pieces... Keep practicing!
Peace
Po'Ethics Lives
Yea, when you jumped from present to pass, that was nice. Overall, it was a pretty good drop, I liked it, you got potential, I'll look at your future peices at well.
- u n r e a L -
. . . and yet still keep shit real
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the one since '99
Thanx to everybody who offered feedback, its nice to see some of the poeple who have been around this site for a while are willing to help the "Newb" elevate
iiGHT 1ST OFF TO MENTION: The topic is what first caught my attention,
so when I started reading, your concept was grasping,
i was into your word play, and the flashback back jumpoff,
of the present, past-n-future, was hott also,
it was a long piece, but it wasnt a piece that was dragged on w/o meaning.
OVERALL: I liked reading this one, keep the shyt up dawg;
KALIKOZE911...
^ thanx...last uppin
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