Hey there!

It looks like you're enjoying Rap Battles Forum but haven't created an account yet. Why not take a minute to register for your own free account now? As a member you get free access to all of our forums and posts plus the ability to post your own messages, communicate directly with other members and much more. Register now!

Already a member? Login at the top of this page to stop seeing this message.

User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Behind Blue Eyes.

  1. #1
    Evolve FanTa ZeE's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Age
    36
    Posts
    1,419
    Battle Record
    9-6

    Behind Blue Eyes.

    Hustle and bustle, strangers passing me by,
    Leaders of madness, dying, behind glazed over eyes,
    Stare straight through me and my existance revised,
    Tells me that nothing is certain, and all truth can only be lies.
    Lies that lead from a devious mind, crying in silence,
    Left only to find that silence will be broken,
    And train of though left behind,
    Philosophy shattered and intelligence denied,
    You left me for one who couldn't commit because you didn't see,
    That the tear in your heart was the refusal of me,
    That the hole in the bottomless pit of society,
    Was filled with another, but only in lapse of sobriety,
    If you'd explained situations, that occered long ago,
    Our wilting would never have developed, permitted to grow.
    But these rips are like ladders in destiny's tights,
    They only get longer, and truth can only become lies,
    If the code is not broken, am I then left to summise
    That the evidence you created was because you loved me...behind blue eyes.
    Def Poets

  2. #2
    I dont think this is an OM, this is poetry.
    Post it there too if you havent already...

    Now the piece is nice, some of the lines I Really Really liked, some were a little different but thats because you're more of a poet with your pieces than most of the other stuff I read here.

    But these rips are like ladders in destiny's tights,
    They only get longer, and truth can only become lies,
    If the code is not broken, am I then left to summise
    That the evidence you created was because you loved me...behind blue eyes.
    Real nice, keep up the work...
    Check mine out...
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=172564


  3. #3
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Mifflinburg, PA
    Posts
    6,693
    Battle Record
    12-1
    This was nice FanTa...I enjoyed the read...I dont see why people arent posting in this though..I liked what you were saying in the piece...You had some nice lines in there, I liked the way you started it off and carried it through to the end, pretty solid piece from my point of view anyway...You had some nice vocab to compliment the piece as well....But overall nice piece...sorry to make it so short, kinda in a rush!

  4. #4
    Po'Ethics
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    London
    Age
    37
    Posts
    1,212
    Battle Record
    6-4
    This was good... Although I agree this is more poetry nonetheless it was good. Nice vocabulary used... Worked well together from the beginning to the end. I don't really have much different to say from anyone else except keep posting... Maybe try something a little longer... a little more rap-like.

    I enjoyed it though...

    If you have time to check out "Messiah Complex" in my sig I'd appreciate it...

    Peace
    Po'Ethics Lives

  5. #5
    Evolve FanTa ZeE's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Age
    36
    Posts
    1,419
    Battle Record
    9-6
    Lmao thanks for the replies jafu...i always write poetically, i cant not...lmao i know thats strange but thats me..heehee
    Def Poets

  6. #6
    TreaZoN sILLable's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Houston, Texas
    Age
    39
    Posts
    5,316
    Battle Record
    15-10
    lucky you,u dont have to leave two links...anyway,nice piece,more poetic than anything but nice,tight imagery,it flowed well,it had good wordplay.not a bad piece.keep droppin tha hottness.~1~


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


Similar Threads

  1. Behind Blue Eyes
    By Soul Slayer in forum Poetic Scriptures
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: August 23rd, 2009, 06:06 AM
  2. Through My Red; Blue Eyes
    By Jon in forum Poetic Scriptures
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: May 22nd, 2007, 08:20 PM
  3. Hey there Blue Eyes...
    By Baxter D. Wall in forum Member Pictures
    Replies: 76
    Last Post: July 17th, 2005, 02:21 PM
  4. Baby.. Blue.. Eyes..
    By Freeman in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: March 24th, 2004, 11:59 AM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •