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Thread: Game Over

  1. #1
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    philly
    Age
    41
    Posts
    24

    Game Over

    The police always comin to my door harassin my ass
    got them motherfuckin pigs diggin through my trash
    they know i'd be a good catch like a 10 pound bass
    but i elude them like a championship did the utah jazz
    try to get me to give up peeps, destroy me like a demolition derby
    but i ain't givin no names like a yankees jersey
    and you won't hear me spit nothin through the wire like kanye west
    i'm careful on the cell i choose my words like it was an essay test
    they can put me under the hot lights but get nothin off my chest
    nothin to confess, no charge , so no grounds for arrest
    i wish they would just leave me alone
    quit tappin my phone quit showin up at my home
    i can't take the pressure like donovan mcnabb
    so i'm hangin up the scale and i'm hangin up the bags
    i want a simple life and fuck hoes like paris and nicole
    so these cops can get off me and get back to they patrol
    i'm done with the game and thats from the bottom of my soul
    cuz i don't wanna be a gangster i don't wanna "be cool"

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...20#post2085620
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...33#post2085633
    Last edited by WordPerfect; February 18th, 2005 at 01:26 AM

  2. #2
    The » Way
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Posts
    4,162
    Battle Record
    34-19
    not bad... stucture was a little off at times... but overall sturcture was good. try changing up your vocab a little pick some more complex words to really impress the reader. flow was on target not amazing just on target. nothing really interesting about the story but it was stil alight...

    keep at it... i liked it... good to see some fresh skill on the site.

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