Newbie

[WordPerfect]

I'm a newbie to this forum but not to this game
so i need an introduction cuz i ain't lil wayne
so let me explain how i bring rhymes to your brain
causing a sensory overload of the mainframe
and if you battle me i'll leave you ashamed
like you came in 30 seconds and your girl called you lame
threw you out the crib without your pants in the rain
now thats funny stuff yes i bring major pain (payne)
i'm from philly but i don't choke like dnabb in the game
i'm more like A.I. droppin 60 drivin in the lane
i drive in your girl have her screamin my name
i'm done spittin but your girl ain't i just came


i'm changing my name to TheIllustrator, cuz i didn't realize wordperfect was taken

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=171562
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=171558

[ImplicitWordplay]

Its was a 5/10 overall. lacked flow. decent ryhmes.

[CrazyCarl]

You had some good ideas. The rhyming was nice, but if you're looking to make your verses longer, you gotta know when to switch the rhyme ending, and still keep your flow going. Keep writing.

[JAY DOT.]

^ change your name now, i was expecting to read something dope...