User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: ~Warriors of Heaven and Hell~

  1. #1
    MythDirection
    Guest

    ~Warriors of Heaven and Hell~

    Karuido floats as if butterfly petals
    . . . dust never settles on her swift kazari metal
    silver sing sword slices ever so silently
    . . . and more than a few are carried ever so violently
    hellborn beautful, she kills for your vanity
    . . . her prison is where you're damned to insanity

    Bixia Yuan'Jin laughs with the raindrops
    . . . pain stops in her arms where you shame starts
    slowly, so stoicly she steals back forgiven
    . . . and there's a place in your heart where she is living
    full moon diety will only see the best in thee
    . . . if you put faith in yourself and your destiny

    Constantine walks unseen in the between
    . . . unclean dreams are filled with purgatory's screams
    savage he slavers and slanders for sweet peace
    . . . he's always asking "Why does Heaven cheat me?"
    only fellowship is gate keeper, the Grim Reaper
    . . . demon claws clutch always dragging him deeper

    Abbaddon abandons rabidly out of habit
    . . . feasts on your greed, just because you have it
    solemnly static it's tragic and sadly sorrow filled
    . . . remembers past sins and waits for tomorow's kill
    he smokes the souls and breathes in desperation
    . . . to grow his dark army he culls the weak of the nation

    Jesus frees us as he washes the whore's feet
    . . . always there when the others just want to abhor me
    sobbing i'm saved every day from the sinning
    . . . so obvioius in this war to know who is winning
    can't you see the pure love of the holy trinity?
    . . . the greatest weapon is surely faith in divinity

  2. #2
    ||RythmicTendicies|| 'PercepTion''s Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    Northern Ireland, UK
    Age
    37
    Posts
    3,166
    Battle Record
    7-13
    Liked the flow to this, you had some nice internal
    rhyming and your extended vocab made the rhymes
    complex. This gave it a real meaning and allowed
    different sides and aspects of what you were saying
    be heard. Wasnt too sure about the structure, seemed
    more of a poem than an actual rap piece, but your
    different stanza's were laid out well and it certainly
    flowed smoothly.

    Story was good, liked the way you potrayed different
    "characters" n each stanza, kept it deep but at the
    same time let it be simple enough to understand and
    read...nice. Overall, it was a well constructed song,
    nice flow, vocab & story. The added complexity of it
    made it worthwhile to look at, nice job...4/5
    Open Mic's


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    --------------------------------

  3. #3
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Mifflinburg, PA
    Posts
    6,693
    Battle Record
    12-1
    You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.

  4. #4
    MythDirection
    Guest
    Last edited by MythDirection; February 16th, 2005 at 01:05 PM

  5. #5
    Newbie heartless creep's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    upstate ny
    Age
    39
    Posts
    46
    i thought it was good, i liked the whole story and shit.

  6. #6
    ||RythmicTendicies|| 'PercepTion''s Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    Northern Ireland, UK
    Age
    37
    Posts
    3,166
    Battle Record
    7-13
    ^that really cant be classified as feedback.
    Open Mic's


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    --------------------------------

  7. #7
    MythDirection
    Guest
    it is ok i guess he is just new

  8. #8
    MythDirection
    Guest
    hi everybody!

  9. #9
    MythDirection
    Guest
    one more time i suppose

Similar Threads

  1. Heaven and Hell
    By Kris Cain in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 30
    Last Post: September 24th, 2008, 07:07 PM
  2. Heaven and Hell.
    By Broly in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: December 1st, 2007, 01:16 PM
  3. Heaven vs Hell.
    By Future  in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: December 13th, 2005, 02:42 AM
  4. Heaven or Hell?
    By ChaChing in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: September 15th, 2005, 04:37 PM
  5. Is My Heaven Your Hell?
    By Mixtape in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: January 13th, 2005, 01:29 PM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •