a day in ma shoes

[Nation]

yo just another day in the life of a thug
roll up anotha philly blunt, full of fresh bud
grab ma gun, and some extra rounds
neva forget to grab ma sack, throw in a couple extra pounds
cuz today i think gods watchin ma back
if not, im ready with the loaded gat
ready to blast back...at any fool who cross me
im ma own boss, neva let any one boss me
cuz ima stay tru to ma roots, jus keep slangin
stay tru to ma clique, jus keep bangin
cuz u know im on that locced out gangsta shit
heata in ma hand ready to blast the flag off a fake bitch
ma rhymes might be bad, my verse might suck
but ima stay locced out cuz i aint neva giva fuck

[Nation]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=170958
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=170937

[ELEETE]

Ok well...first off you might get a lot of criticism from peeps who hate this tyoe of shit...just warning...but fuckem i say...It seems like your strugglin to comform a style at this point which is good...all i can tell you is try to expirement with your word usage...try some internal rhymin you know...try to work a scheme that works for you...You will only get better...no disrespect...keep at it...-E-

[Nation]

thanks man, i rhyme for myself no one else

[ELEETE]

Thats a good thing...remember keep your heart in your pieces...an always remember that your next piece will be the best youve written...good shit...If you get a chance hit up my latest...feedback is appreciated...
\http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=171359

[Nation]

Uppin

[Nation]

yo dont sleep on me..uppin

[Vikkie™]

It was pretty good..seemed aimed at someone....your rhyme scheme was similar to Ludacris's like youll lose it but then youll catch onto it...or Tre-Little's...this was pretty good though

6/10

[Vylint]

this sucks
you lack content
your flow prolly sucks
or it's simple and monotone
and you should try to elevate

peace

[WordPerfect]

This shit was simple,and seemed like you wrote it in a minute. I think you need to throw some metaphors in there or at least some creative shit. It sounds like anything else any other gangsta rapper writes. Although I gotta say i like the last 2 lines.

respond to mine if you get a chance its my first post:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...16#post2082016

[AbusivE]

It was simple at most points... as WordPerfect said, it seems rushed and stuff very similar to this has been written ALOT of times.. but for what you had - it was decent, you lacked multis, i didnt see much, try workin on that.. would be nice to see some wordplay or metaphors thrown in, and next time try a dif. topic... but overal, it was a decent drop.. keep it up!

[ImplicitWordplay]

Just another wannabe nerd behind a computer if you ask me. Too mant songs like this.

It lacked flow. Multies were shit. It was overall a 4/10.

[Nation]

thanks for the feed, especially u implicit.

[CrazyCarl]

With the name of the topic, you could have gone into greater detail with the verse. You could have put more emotion into it. The verse was simple, find something to write about that you can go in depth with.

[d-mc]

i call out anyone.