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Thread: Would You Die For Me

  1. #1
    Threat Level Midnight Tim's Avatar
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    Would You Die For Me

    Picture the place that the scriptures embrace
    Made of Heavenly Beauty with a mixture of Grace
    Where souls melt and divide for religions we've knelt beside
    When we delt with pride, but couldn't describe how we felt inside
    For this, my dear is true love, as most can see
    So let me hold you close to me, forever like we're supposed to be
    We shall shun our worth, as we have done since birth
    In the mourning, they shall mourn, when we are one with the earth
    Stopping us heartless, with the drop of a cartridge
    Moppin carnage from a sloppy carcass chopped in the garbage
    Through the gardens of darkness we embark on the danger
    As a dark stranger black as the wings of the Arc Angel
    Don't regret that you tried to hide forgettin' your pride
    You gotta let it slide and try to set it aside
    Our memories shall survive in the journals we keep
    But for now, we journey deep into eternal sleep
    Do not weep for your loved ones, but go be with them tonight
    One day they shall see the light, and you will reunite
    But you need not hold that weight, for you are my soul mate
    Do not be afraid, as we venture through the Golden Gates

    Now I lay me down down to sleep to die by my Baptist
    As we lie in our caskets, say goodbye with one last kiss
    Letting Catholic Decisions carve our Epitathic visions
    Like the graphiv incisions caused by traffic collisions
    Where the cries and repention men are tryin' to mention
    Are merely signs of attention towards Divine Innervention
    Intertwined with the tension to earn the hand of his throne
    But I've grown as the man you've known to stand on his own
    Those crippled in slaughter and dead are genuine friends of mine
    But one ripple in the water, can spread untill the end of time
    As eternities of friendships start when mingles are kept
    And how journeys of endlessness begin with a single step
    How much sorrow and fear will appear before tomorrow is near
    And if I can't cry, can I borrow a tear?
    So much pain, surley the World can be saved
    From being placed at The Pearly Gates or Raced to an early grave
    Close your eyes, my words are clever
    As we rise to the chosen skies, 2 birds of a feather
    Together forever, I confide in you
    Riding through, tried and true, and I will always be beside you

  2. #2

  3. #3
    2012
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    Dope.

    Damn good vocab. The flow was right on point. Great Imagery.

    Now I lay me down down to sleep to die by my Baptist
    As we lie in our caskets, say goodbye with one last kiss
    Letting Catholic Decisions carve our Epitathic visions
    Like the graphiv incisions caused by traffic collisions
    Where the cries and repention men are tryin' to mention
    Are merely signs of attention towards Divine Innervention
    Intertwined with the tension to earn the hand of his throne
    But I've grown as the man you've known to stand on his own


    ^^^
    That part was dope man. Great work, another stellar piece.
    You really think ur tough... come 'n try me man
    I’ll get a hiccup that isn’t spasms of the diaphragm

  4. #4
    Threat Level Midnight Tim's Avatar
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    thanxs man uppin

  5. #5
    Threat Level Midnight Tim's Avatar
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    bump bump bump leave links

  6. #6
    Po'Ethics
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    Definately a nice piece... Good vocabulary, great flow, great imagery and metaphor. There's not much more I can say.. Maybe a little better structure? I don't know it's hard to fault it.

    Sorry I haven't said more.. I just can't find anything to say.

    Nice work... If you could check out "Trace" from the link in my signature I'd appreciate it.

    Peace
    Po'Ethics Lives

  7. #7
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    damn.... That was some dope shit... Nice Nice.

  8. #8
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    i like urs although it was long it still had some sick rhymes in it nice work keep spittin

  9. #9
    . Illus''s Avatar
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    Nice nice...

    Definitely I nice well structure piece..
    Lovely multies , nice deep meaning,
    nice topic. well Orchestrated....

    "Are merely signs of attention towards Divine Innervention
    Intertwined with the tension to earn the hand of his throne
    But I've grown as the man you've known to stand on his own
    Those crippled in slaughter and dead are genuine friends of mine
    But one ripple in the water, can spread untill the end of time"

    These lines right here stood out the most to me
    because of the multies and the meaning...
    the ripple in water line was very nice..
    good imagery...

    "Picture the place that the scriptures embrace
    Made of Heavenly Beauty with a mixture of Grace"

    Dope....That's how a piece should be written.
    nicely done...with imagery gracing the flow
    scheme....



    Overall on the the best I have read.
    Nice style you have. Nice multies
    and added with deep meaning..
    Which is sometimes hard to accomplish.

    Just watch out for the ION endings...

    Peace..

  10. #10
    Threat Level Midnight Tim's Avatar
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    thanxs man that really means alot comming from someone like you up up

    leave links they will be followed

  11. #11
    GhettoFabolous
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    This was a madd dope piece Timmy.

    I liked ur rhyme scheme n flow, errything worked and da story was tyte too. U never fell off at all, u kept it consistent.

    Keep droppin man.

    Please hit up my OM, its in da sig.

    1

  12. #12
    sick thoughtz
    Guest
    this was really tight i felt the whole story ..keep posting,,,

  13. #13
    Threat Level Midnight Tim's Avatar
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    Bump Bump

    leave links

  14. #14
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    lol.. you pm'd me this 3 weeks ago, and i never got to it. So when i was cleaning out my pm's, i felt bad, and figured i would atleast leave a little feedback now.

    So here..

    As always, real nice peice. The emotion was pretty deep, really felt it was put into the peice well. The flow was nice and smooth, especially with the internals and multis incorperated into the peice. The vocab was nicely done also. You didn't over do it, but you had just the right amount to add that higher level of complexity to the peice. The imagery was also solid. Well developed. How you worded it was effective. Overall, nice drop man.

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