You do realise a fuckload of people have told me im a writing genius.
Jokes?
Is that what you want jokes?
Is that the excuse for arguing with me for four pages?
Because i dont got jokes?
Ive wrote on hundreds of topics,hundreds.
You do realise a fuckload of people have told me im a writing genius.
Jokes?
Is that what you want jokes?
Is that the excuse for arguing with me for four pages?
Because i dont got jokes?
Ive wrote on hundreds of topics,hundreds.
too much freeposting
the point is nobody does get it. therefore its not dope. i could write a paragraph of medical terms i found in my anatomy book & call it dope and say nobody understood it - would that make it dope? no it'd make it useless, since no one got it. and the reason ermm - elephant [i know who you really are!Originally Posted by DALC
] says the things he does is because they are true. sounds dumb, and simple, but the fact is he has no other reason to say so. He is obviously an intelligent person when it comes to vocabulary, and if you read his posts in this thread alone you would see that. He isn't just saying what he has said because he doesn't get it, he has many good points. Vocabulary is meant to be used to enhance a piece, not to make the piece. Once you go as far as to make vocabulary the focus of your piece, and try to evoke emotion with solely high level vocabulary and metaphors through that high level vocabulary, you are going to fail. If this was so well written, then I would be able to infer what your metaphors meant and what some of your vocabulary meant without actually knowing the word beforehand. But I couldn't, and with other writers on this board I can do so. Give your own reasons for why that is, but its because they have well written pieces that follow a certain storyline or theme throughout, and use their higher vocabulary effectively without 'drowning' the piece in vocabulary. You overdid the vocabulary by far. And if your piece wasn't 'meant for a rap board' then don't post it on one. Because the people from here reply as if it is written poetry in some form. coming here and posting your piece, then saying it wasnt meant for a rap site expecting us to withdraw our comments is funny really. I would give you a metaphor for how ridiculous that is, but im not as good as you are with the metaphors. I'm reopening this because it was an interesting discussion to me, so credz please keep it open.
i understood most of da words, but it still don't make dat much sense, it ain't really connect and it seemed like u juss through words in there
LÎ\/€Ñ L€géñІ
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l~ArticuatedMenace~l
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your verse is the sum of somebody reciting engine parts... radiators are next to the fan belt, gas cap leaks on the coolant till my hand melts... bullshit like that
it is not until you can make the engine run that you are a great writer... and fi you are really intelligent... you'll understand that
the final point is many of those words are ambiguous to any real theme... that is why the most brilliant poets use the simplest words... they are in fact the hardest to use...
Hence Forward
and for those of you who didn't understand what Mag just said... i think the engine running metaphor was a reference to making the 'pieces' of your verse [flow, metaphors, descriptive language, imagery, etc] work together to interest the reader and make a good verse. at least something along those lines. DOLC had a lot of description and vocabulary and claimed he had metaphors but they didnt work well together and dint create any overall picture at ALL for me at least.
Well, I have read a great many abstract and deep/complex peices of literature in my time (not to mention I have wrote a few myself), but in all my understanding of science, I see no solid connection here. Before you assume things, lets just make one thing clear, I am well grounded in the scientific community, and many here know that. although Sublime and Mag make terrific points here, I think you fail to acknowledge their intellect. I can vouge for them, big dumb elephant also made some very hard hitting points in here. Now I can go on for days in scientific terms from verse to verse, but that would only satisfy my self, the mark of a true artist is his abilty to satisfy the multiudes minds that come across his work. As it stands, you seem to think noone on here could understand you, now that is a true measure of your inablity to package such thoughs in a clear and consise drop. I have wrote many complex and deep meaning drops here that not everyone gets, but they are drafted in such a manner that after a few reads the obvious message stand out. This does not demonstrate that at all, and I think is a huge flaw in your thinking. We could include complex strands of amino acids and combine that witht he precursor chemicals to building carbon based life, but if you do not transfer that from original thought to writen text, then you have failed yourself. Do not get me wrong, it's great that there are a select few who can see thorugh the clutter to terms and twisted meanings, but the goal is to appeal to the crowds. Or else you write in technical terms for a publication, not a peice poetry or literature. I think you have your heart in the right place, but you are too focused on showcasing your abilty to process complex thought and deep underlying meaning, and lend them credabilty grounded in higher end lingo. Not very artisitc, and you should really try to convery your message in more effcient manner. I can go on if you like, We can have a heavy hitting intellectual conversation about this, or you can try to attack my intellect, but I promise that will fail meserably.
I hope you understad my intent here.
-Bounce
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I just want to make something clear.
Im not some super celestial,or the most intellegent person in the world.
I choose every word for a reason,and i can make conncections and explanations to why i chose them and used them.
In no means,do i focus solely on vocabulary,as a matter of fact,its the least of my worries when I write.
Ive seen what words can do,they can cause uproars and fights.
But i never thought words like this could do the same.
Jargon and crazy speach.That is the manner in which my emotions and thoughts surface from the pools of my intelect and cognition.
That is how i express myself.
Poetry is opinion and perception based,this is wordy to you,but not to other people.
This is complex and abstract to you,but not to other people.
This is nonscense and arrogant rants of technical babble to you,but not to other people.
Someone might like to listen to rap,but not other people.
I am trully sorry,if it has appeared that I have proclaimed myself to be above any of you.
But keep this in mind,if you do not like my word,then do not read it.
But please do not continue telling me what i already know;I do write with a technical and obscure vocabulary,and i do use catachresis.
Im sorry if you do not like stuff like that,but that is what i like and who i am.
Ounce again,i trully am sorry for anything ive said,that might have asserted me above you,because i am not better then any of you.
ill have to agree with craygirl on that one it was good rhyme cheme but if no one can understand we cant feel wut ur sayin over all it had good structer but next time write a lil bit less complex so we can feel wut ur tryrin to say ill give it a 6/10 only cuz it had too take some talent to rhyme all those words together,peace
let's clarify... he is not writing in a complex fashion
he is merely using complex words
refer to anything I've ever posted in OM for complex
Hence Forward
Its complex because its metaphorical and abstract.
Clarify that.
why does this thread have 70 fucking replies on stupidity?
DALC, you can't rap. Your rhymes are stupid and have no moral.
pick a topic, and run with it.
lol...why would u up this to explain yourself..make a thread in ei...
you were making advancments...this is a step backwards....
you're so egotistical...and this is stupid....
Bittersweet
it's not metaphorical!
it can barely even be understood in the literal
to break down the words meanings and find out what's going on is the most concrete vocabulary exercise i've seen
nothing in this is abstract
Hence Forward
Your are correct DALC, I couldn't agree with you more. These people just be hating just because they got no skillz. I have a vocabulary that is hard to understand as well as you do, so I can see where you're coming from. I like this piece alot, there aren't many like them anymore. Your structure was off the hook and you had a great rhythm in that piece that I could relate to. The only advice I got for you is to use smaller words in your rhymes so people know what the message your trying to get across is. Other than that, your rhymes are flawless. Keep droppin.
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