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Thread: D-Day.......

  1. #1
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    D-Day.......

    Please read all of it thanks

    To the shore
    The agitation commenses, the boat rocking left and right
    water rushing inside, it covers my face and sight
    20 soldiers huddled close, an inch away is where they sat
    motion sickness got to them...spewing vomit on their laps
    at a 360 view thousands of ships held millions to be dead
    one shot in the head beside me from the crossfire ahead
    the commander in front, speaking speeches of fight till the death
    never let the germans rest instead shoot with no regret
    were approaching i see victims falling quickly at the shore
    got out quick and hid...not knowing at all what was in store...


    The Landing
    Erratic noises left my ears ringing, I could barely hear
    it was the guns taking over sound, nothing was clear
    the fear diminished, when your in it you dont think about dying
    just killing as many as possible...some without even trying
    I stood up and ran to the obstacle ahead of me
    where a person is screaming medic, his wounds were deadly
    leg decapatated from a mine, the beach coated in blood
    red flowing out his spine...either paralyzed or stunned
    couldnt help followed the commander to the end of the beach
    where we would stay at the gates about to be breached
    over us planes made their way to bomb the bunker place
    everytime they hit the world shook the fields in disarray
    our fellow platoon planted the bomb to blow up the gates
    it exploded we rushed in and at the bunker wall we stayed
    seconds later we ran to the otherside of the entrance
    we made it, someone talked, was shot before he finished his sentence
    germans raiding toward us we just shot at the savages
    managed to kill them all but not without our own share of caskets
    entered the bunkers and grenaded anybody left around
    everyone regrouped and stormed into the core of the town


    One down...more to go
    Everything was clear we slowed down and observed our surroundings
    a mystifying mist cluttered the roads, our hearts started pounding
    walked in and out of houses looking for citizens or enemies
    nothing was seen maybe they pulled back, thats what it seems
    turned the corner and kept walking to see another road
    a lady ran out and someone shot...our faces were bold
    it was by accident most of us edgy worried at what weve done
    we haulted at a sound around us...and scared we couldnt run...
    germans surrounded us how did they learn guerrilla warfare tactics?...
    cocked my gun...aimed at one...open fired and blasted.......


    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...78#post2032578
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...98#post2032598

    peace
    TC

  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    uppin..........
    TC

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    uppin...someone drop some feed people
    TC

  4. #4
    BrayInWav
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    that was pretty def... kinda strange topic for a drops... i'll assume you weren't really there, which would make you at least in your late 70's and textceeing lol...

    it was neat, kinda long for reading on a site, but not really if it's for a song... flow and rhyming was on point, maybe one or two lines were a bit long here and there... good work. peace.

  5. #5
    Fear Before The March Foreshadow's Avatar
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    Damn this was a great piece. I love the description that you used. The details were done nicely and I was feeling this all the way. Nice job your going to be real good. Keep up the work I will keep a look out for you.

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=168556

  6. #6
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    thanks for the feed...uppin
    TC

  7. #7
    Original UK mc heartless's Avatar
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    dope........thats all i can say......imagery=dope.....description=dope...wordi ng=dope...........simple as.....
    keep this shit up...........
    hit my OM against sickthoughtz

  8. #8
    Newbie fu2re troublez's Avatar
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    yo man, i really enjoyed reading this peaice, it created great imagery for me, and the whole thing was great, i really like the choice of words u used for alotta things and it keep me wanting to read more, ill be looking for some more of this, so keep up...~1~

  9. #9
    Back By Popular Demand... ELEETE's Avatar
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    Very nice piece...prolly the best ive read so far since i came back...Your imagery reminds me of an old emcee i used to know on this board...I must say your talent is above average when it comes to this board...like i said very in depth piece...your imagery was great...your topic was interesting an the way you place your words grips the reader well...looks like i have someone to compete against...much respect to you...If you get a chance...hit up my keystyle link in my sig...i wrote it last night in like 15 minutes just to kinda say im back ina way...but ill drop something for people to think about real soon...ima keep on the lookout for you...maybe we can collab sometime...like i said much respect peace...

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  10. #10
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    thanks for the feed...
    TC

  11. #11
    .........
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    yeah nice drop nothing bad about it keep it up
    I will slay thee
    <img src="
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    make you look STUPID
    <img src="http://www.geocities.com/xdigitalpencilx/lazer-numskull.gif">

  12. #12
    Awaken
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    This was a really good piece. For the most part, ''SAving Private Ryan'' is one of my fav. movies. I'm always craving to read war pieces, That's why i write quite a few myself whenever the topic is a choice. Some parts of this felt like they were kinda rushed, such as when u went to help the guy bleeding, you rushed it to the next line and lost the flow of it. The ending was pretty good and pretty bad in a way, considering that the ambush did not happen, that just kinda ruinbed it for me, other than that, the flow, everything was on point, keep dropping more man, peace.

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