House Of Horrors

[Crowd-Pleaser]

that was iight man, liked it a lot it was pretty good

[warchild]

I think a lot of people slept on this i want some more replies 2 it.

[Stuff'd Aminol]

k, but could you please hit up the om in my sig, its getting real slept on

anyways, this was a well put concept, nice and short, steady flow for the most part, you held a pretty good rhyme scheme and thats usually hard when people are telling stories, i liked the whole concept and the ending was well put, dope drop

things to think about:try to add some more metaphors to your imagery cause although the story was very enjoyable, metaphors every once and while would make spruce it up, also this is another thing that everyone seems to have trouble with but next time if your gonna go from reality to flashing back, try and find a better way to kick into the story, i've had problems with that in the past too

anyways, could you please hit up my open mic, it'd be much appreciated

[warchild]

You need to read this again if you didnt think it had metaphors read it in depth and you'll see there is a few metaphors in there.

[cAmoFlaugE]

good post man, I like your topic and vocab, the way ou worded it.
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