14-16 linez.
No Hate
Topic-Unprotected Love
Checkins due in 10 min
Verses Due in 2 Hourz Topz
14-16 linez.
No Hate
Topic-Unprotected Love
Checkins due in 10 min
Verses Due in 2 Hourz Topz
checkin in...............................................
Check.
Lets change the topic to...
The Ulitmate Friday Night. ok?
ok................................................ .............
The Perfect Friday Night
Look at the clock, Fuck, already its 6 Am, and Im disapproving
Shower, Dress, Breakfast, all in an hour, I better get moving.
Drag myself to school, and deal with the stress of Eight periods Delight
But hopefully the day will pay off, when its time to go out tonight.
Finally, Im on my way home, off the school grounds on the double
Deciding what to do tonight, thats fun but could keep me out of trouble.
And at that moment the Cell rings, "Deanna", says the caller ID
She tells me to be at her house at 9, she desperately needs to see me.
My watch says 8:56 as I approach the living quarters, amidst my fears
I step to the door, knock nerviously, knowing I've liked this girl for years.
She opens the door, pulls me in, and then flashes upstairs undaunted
Comes back down in Lace and reminds me we could do what we wanted.
At that moment, she crawls on me, tells me that with all we've been through
She's always liked me, Then kisses me, and this is a real dream come true.
I brace myself for whats to follow, then she flirts with me dramatically
Takes me by the hand, & leads me upstairs, closing her bedroom door emphatically.
Hours later I leave the love shack, with lasting memories shining bright
& The kiss goodbye, & the stare as I walk away concludes the Perfect Friday Night.
The Perfect Friday Night
Look at the clock, Fuck, already its 6 Am, and Im disapproving
Shower, Dress, Breakfast, all in an hour, I better get moving.
Drag myself to school, and deal with the stress of Eight periods Delight
But hopefully the day will pay off, when its time to go out tonight.
Finally, Im on my way home, off the school grounds on the double
Deciding what to do tonight, thats fun but could keep me out of trouble.
And at that moment the Cell rings, "Deanna", says the caller ID
She tells me to be at her house at 9, she desperately needs to see me.
My watch says 8:56 as I approach the living quarters, amidst my fears
I step to the door, knock nerviously, knowing I've liked this girl for years.
She opens the door, pulls me in, and then flashes upstairs undaunted
Comes back down in Lace and reminds me we could do what we wanted.
At that moment, she crawls on me, tells me that with all we've been through
She's always liked me, Then kisses me, and this is a real dream come true.
I brace myself for whats to follow, then she flirts with me dramatically
Takes me by the hand, & leads me upstairs, closing her bedroom door emphatically.
Hours later I leave the love shack, with lasting memories shining bright
& The kiss goodbye, & the stare as I walk away concludes the Perfect Friday Night.
I thought it didn't post because the server wetn down. My bad.
The Perfect Friday Night
It Was Late one evening, My day had been decieving with ammount of stress
Recieving loneliness in the world..................... until the day i found the test
I Was a homeless man.. .no family....no home....and definately no place to go
No place I could call My own....I couldn't work.............so I prayed for dough
The greatest thing in my possession.............. was an old beat up rusted Van
But associating with me a bum..that gives a new perspective to trustin a Man
I Was homeless all my life, but Friday 13th 1998..I experienced The Best Night
I created a miracle in life so wonderful I didnt worry tryin to get the rest right
I was driving my rusty van...thinking what it would be like just to hold a baby
My thoughtz became invisioned to my path...........and then i hit this old lady
I sat for several minutes........................... Thriving for a descision to make
I thought she was alive and well...................But thats just the vision i made
Slowly i kneeled beside the body...the pulse was gone..so i prayed to the lord
Repeated alot of Wordz.. Said what was on my mind...then prayed some more
I Asked the lord repeatingly to bring her back.......cuz i would have died hopin
Said my final Wordz to the lord....Glanced down at the lady her eyes had open
Both dropped pretty tight, I think Civil dropped dope though.. Good job to both yall.. No Hate.. But Civil has this.. just my oppinion.. ah well.. keep it up yall..
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I voted for Civil, it didnt say No Crew Votes.. so I voted.. Im being Honest.. Oh sh*t what did I do? I dont think I shoulda.. lol.. U can delete this Moderater.. Cause prolly aint allowed to have a vote since i am in the same crew as Civil.. But he did have better flow, and better subject, and better overall multies. Good job
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Nice topical here. Pretty close but I think Rebel's verse was a bit better.
Eclipse - I liked your verse, it was simple and easy to follow but had nice imagry and emotion at the same time. Decent vocab and a good structure, overall nice verse.
Civilised Rebel - I didnt really expect this, good drop. I was expecting something similar to Eclipse's verse but you added a totally different twist with the homeless person. I liked that. Vocab was ok and the structure was decent. Pretty good verse.
Vote - Civilised Rebel
...The Ghostface Killllllaaaaaahhhhhhhh
Nah, I got Eclipse taking this battle.. here's why:
Eclipse, I liked your approach to this topic, you hit it well. Nice vocabulary and structure... pretty solid rhyme scheme.. coulda had more imagery.. but you told this story well and stayed on topic.. could have been longer, but there was a short line limit considering this was a topical.
Civilized, I really wasn't feeling your verse at all. I didn't feel your verse hit the topic well. The ending really ruined it.. didn't understand how it related to the topic. Your flow was pretty good, as was your structure.. vocab was average..
I gotta go with Eclipse simply because I felt his story more and felt that it hit the topic better. Could have been longer in my opinion, but it was a decent battle..
v/ ...Eclipse...
Been a real one.
Civil came a little too basic.. And I really don't think there was anything to quote, you got potential you just ain't using it in the right way yo. focus on your shit and you could/can do a lot better homie.
Eclipse, a good verse from you with your normal good vocab.. nice read, aiight emotion n imagery, nothing too special, u just used what u had to win this one man, it won't get given to you like this all the time..
V/ Eclipse.
Boh had excellent verses
Rebel-Your verse was very complex,for awhile i saw you ending it with you became rich but you took a different approach to it by saying you hit a lady prayed and she came back to life...your verse was complex your multis were where they belonged this verse overall gets a 9/10
Eclipse-Your verse wasnt as complex as it could've been,From the beginning i wasnt too sure on where it was going but when you got to about the middle of it it became obvious...not to down your verse but it was typical for a topical by ending the perfect friday night with sex..you had good wordplay imagery and multi's..
This verse gets a 8/10
v-Rebel
Life Is 10% What Happens To You;
90% How You React To It.
Thanks for all the feed...uppin 1 on this shit........
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