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Thread: House Of Horrors

  1. #1
    The True Psycho of RB
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    House Of Horrors

    This a little story rap i wrote sunday night its short but im thinking about writing a third verse. Its probably only the 3rd story rap i wrote so it aint gonna be perfect i wrote it after seeing this program on tv just peep and reply.

    Im in my room looking at my face in the mirror
    i look up and ask god why he's hating a sinner
    let me tell you a tale, well more of a story
    i'll understand if you wont listen and ignore me
    she's shed so many but the tears still stray
    they've been beaten out but the fears still stay
    the past is there forever like the scars on her wrists
    the pain was more potent cause it was hard on her sis
    both violated by the man who should of cared the most
    they both look out of place cause their bare and broke
    he couldnt help the shit he did too em
    the booze broke the bastard he wanted to live through em
    life to them was more haunting than the worst dream
    already seen all of life's realities and still only thirteen
    his words slurred so they cant hear what he's saying
    the oldest one understands, the youngest is on her knees praying

    Hook: welcome to the house of horrors
    come take a trip inside
    look at the pain and power of twisted minds
    one or two doors but there's no escape
    it's a heartless world there aint a colder place

    The kids in school have evil smiles and contagious whisphers
    it probably plays on their mind but they just picture
    trying to get through the trauma on this quiet day
    school is safe cause at home is where the riot lays
    school is over so now the day doesnt look right
    they arrive at their front door and grip their books tight
    they walk in, on the table is food and drink
    it took twenty seconds for the two to blink
    the house was empty the dad wasnt waiting
    was this real life or just their imagination
    the food was finished, father still out of sight
    this time was stranger than day without night
    the father was missing he was not in his bed
    the oldest found him in the bath shot in the head
    she wasnt shocked but stood back a while
    then turned around to her sister and cracked a smile

    Hook:welcome to the house of horrors
    come take a trip inside
    look at the pain and power of twisted minds
    one or two doors but there's no escape
    it's a heartless world there aint a colder place

  2. #2

  3. #3
    ninjaboy
    Guest
    wow, i wasn't expecting the ending. that was some hardcore shit, but dope. the rhyme scheme was good in most places. but also i understand that when doing a story rap it's sometimes hard to make everything fit perfectly, and also when you spit it, it would be different than us reading it. pretty dope, i just wrote a story rap but i haven't posted it because i'm looking for a new site to post on.

  4. #4
    Live, Love, Burn, Die
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    Yo that was tight I like the subject. Maybe we can do a collab? holla at me if u want to do one. But that was a nice piece,keep up the good work.

  5. #5
    sick thoughtz
    Guest
    yo this shit was tight it was deep 2 i liked it i think this could be the one of the top post ive seen yet holla back

  6. #6
    TreaZoN sILLable's Avatar
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    that was ill kid,real ill, nice vocab,real nice imagery,nice wordplay,good structure,u stayed on point,this piece was ill kid, nice ending,real unexpected.keep droppin tha hotness.


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  7. #7
    yo that was real tight. the ending kicked ass. good use of imagery and nice structure.

  8. #8
    yo that was real tight. the ending kicked ass. good use of imagery and nice structure.

  9. #9
    my bad my comp fucked up nice piece
    Last edited by pakipimp; January 29th, 2005 at 06:50 PM Reason: repeat

  10. #10
    Vomit lyrically_insane's Avatar
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    tight drop bro....i think its a unique subject....keep droppin and tight ending!!!!
    VERBAL INTERCOURSE

  11. #11
    tjesus
    Guest
    you flip the script....very unexpected,memorable....before the ending i was thinkin....Man your allowed to be angry...but you crushed it ....good script

  12. #12
    The True Psycho of RB
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    thanks for the replies im glad this didnt get slept on, peace.

  13. #13
    Newbie
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    yes indeed very nice ....nice imagery nice topic...got some truth to it ...although i didnt like the rhyme scheme too much it was still flawless ..everything u said was nice and descriptive....
    Pra StayT CanSir: but what would u respect more
    Pra StayT CanSir: a white girl who just listens to everything u say and never voice her opinion
    Javon1983:respect doesnt suck my dick and swallow...ok

  14. #14
    G-Money
    Guest
    i like this piece nice emotion n imagery n kept it interesting the whole sometimes people tend to fall off......nice vocab ......n i like the topic ....keep droppin.....one

  15. #15
    The True Psycho of RB
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    I want a couple more replies to this.

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