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Thread: color blind

  1. #1
    www.theilleffect.com djb's Avatar
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    color blind

    color blind
    The complex significance of color could blind
    taught to mind through variously shaded signs
    red, yellow, and green lights guide black and white
    behavior subject to the reflection our eyes strike
    dissipation of inclinations set fourth revelations
    segregation flows away from sustained nations
    the men blind of color contact the suspect cortex
    suppress relevance of equalness leaving us dense
    hence the message delivered with optimum insight
    he who cannot separate colors offers the most of sight

    the remote to a world of superior intellect lies inside
    fingers glide through his hair that was recently dyed
    removes his tie and wrist watch sinking in the couch
    eyes the eyes that spout eying the world to figure it out
    devout preacher men shout their relevant messages
    as combed newscasters listen with esteemed reverence
    brain waves connect and suggest the worlds disdain
    ignorant and blatant racist hateful names were laid
    hearing the cries he unsheathes his hidden swastika
    stares and gleams, sits and think the monsta gotcha
    so honest and compelling is the burnt cider and spelling
    selling the life of living in the third rich, hate melting
    a hardened soul softened through the simplest form
    compassion’s reaction caused the causes to be torn
    forborne to segregate violence through opposing tones
    discovers god reaches all and to hate leaves you alone
    witnesses children grip there father as he pleads to the tv
    see’s the same eyes of his daughter in the black teen
    after only 2 minutes and 30 seconds of conscious reality
    a killer converted to a lover deceiving hates cruel fallacy
    the man who saw so clearly and would be able to define
    lost the curse of a hexed vision to find he was color blind
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  2. #2
    Vomit lyrically_insane's Avatar
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    damn dude that was sum drop......i cant find anything wrong with yo drop....i give it 10/10....keep it up!
    VERBAL INTERCOURSE

  3. #3
    Word is Bond Sublime D's Avatar
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    this was an exceptioal piece...

    i'd forgotten how good fo a writer you were...

    this could still use a little more polish, but very well done...

    your voice was strong and the speaker was believable...

    your content was fairly deep...your diction was good...

    syntax was nice...sorry about the scattered nature of this reply...

    ill give more detail a lil later...

    im about to go, but i wanted to respond after i read this...

    nice job, very nice job...keep writing....
    Bittersweet

  4. #4
    REAL
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    well your flow was flawless......good vocab.............nice discriptions.........but im not really feellin the big words.......i think that too many big words messes up the vissual......but this was still good 8/10............stay up man

  5. #5
    REAL
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    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=166691
    Hit this shit up man^^^^^^^^^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. #6
    Banned
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    You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.

  7. #7
    www.theilleffect.com djb's Avatar
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    my bad credz. gosh imma idiot!
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=166755
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=166762

    and stat quo consider it hit..... upping for some more feedback and thanks to those who have already given me some.
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  8. #8
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Omniscient's Avatar
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    Yo this was perfect...your vocab was excellent...and your flow kept the verse rolling smoothly when i was reading it...no faults in this one dogg 10/10 keep at it dogg ya got da skillz

  9. #9
    I'm Bakk!
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    Real nice drop......Vocab, flow, structure, imagery. everything was on point. Great job

  10. #10
    is in the house Facts Machine's Avatar
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    great peice. dope concept and good vocab. this would be cool for audio as well. nice story line too.

  11. #11
    www.theilleffect.com djb's Avatar
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    wow 2 10/10's i am so happy thanks for the feed guys keep it coming.
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  12. #12
    Aye.Em.Pee. Amp's Avatar
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    Yeah, this was a real nice piece. I like how you used some words in different ways...that didn't sound so smart, but this line.

    Quote Originally Posted by djb
    compassion’s reaction caused the causes to be torn
    I liked that line a lot. The flow was good, structure was set, vocab was nice, message was clear.

    Really nice, keep writing.
    Musicians, Operating Business.

  13. #13
    MC.EDICIT
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    the men blind of color contact the suspect cortex
    suppress relevance of equalness leaving us dense
    hence the message delivered with optimum insight

    U inlight tha' cortex
    and grab rhymes out the mind with forceps

    I reaally.. like U'r shit son.

  14. #14
    www.theilleffect.com djb's Avatar
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    thank you guys for the feed but can i please get a more detailed breakdown of this? upping please.
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  15. #15
    www.theilleffect.com djb's Avatar
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    upping again.
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