Brokken Bars

[thedopestmutha]

He was 17 she was 10 years under age
That nigga musta been desperate , he couldn’t’a been getting laid
Made sur she knew wat sex was b4 it got 2 rape
Came into the room when she was hooked on his video game
Put his dick ‘gainst her neck told her what he was gon’ do
Said he’d kill her if she told or if she said no
She started screamin, so he put the blade up 2 her throat
Pressed it down- “Do ya wanna feel this, bitch?” he choked
And she broke down-he knew she wouldn’t protest
So he pulled down her knickers, lifted up her vest
And prepared to take her innocence at tha age of six
To her it was murder- to him tite sex

[Chorus]
(kid)
Don’t tell no-body or he’ll slit ma throat
But got raped- by this boy I know
I had 2 tell sumbody- but know one else can know
Or he’ll cum find me- hurt me till I choke

Trapped in four walls divided over three floors
No escaping the nigga who made her into his whore
Kid should be playin- watchin shit like balamory
Stead she bein forced by him 2 watch his dirty porn
And when he decides he tells her 2 go play Mario
But if she don’t the knifes strait back at her throat
No one she can tell cause she’s in his home
And when he sees her, his index comes across his neck bone
She’s slipped into her own mental ozone
She don’t even feel nuthin she just goes k.o
Brain strait out cold as soon as she enters his room
Comes in when she bathes so she rarely washes
Cause it scares her shitless and she don’t wanna say stop it
He got a right over her cause his parents aint caught it
They let him take care of her- they don’t know nothing of it

[chorus]

Three calendars 1month-12 later
She’s still forced 2 bend over 4 this dude 2 rape her
Then she gets sum courage and tells him he cant take her
No 1 in tha house so he beats tha kid and dead brains her
Now its all over- the last nerve in her body cracked
She wants to hit out but she don’t want a sustain a fracture
cause he’s six-six and constantly works out
There’s no escape no way she can lash out
So she locks it up tite and forgets about it
till the locks start breakin an her body starts shakin
and it feels like she’s bein possessed by satan
Cause every time she thinks about -reality starts waning
she goes into her own –the tremors start playin
she’s so fucked up she more alone in her mind than rain man


[Chorus]

(kid, cryin and hoarse) stop- it, please don’t-no noooooooooooooooooooooooo!

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....php?p=1994086

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=166055

OPEN MICS:

Rap Music

BATTLES:

Furious Stylez vs. thedopestmutha
Soul Syphon vs. thedopestmutha

[thedopestmutha]

yo uppin this shit

[Novacain]

Fuck man, you're fucked up.

I appriciate the shock value, but that only comes across if the story is expressed well... This seemed like you just wanted to get that shit in there.
This was ill man, and not in the good way. Piece's like this you should spend time on to explain the story, if you're gonna go into such graphic detail, make sure its expressed right.

I didnt enjoy this piece at all, maybe you have potential but Id rather read sumthing not on this subject.

This was fucked up, damn

Return the reply
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=166208
Thanks

Another thing, I edited this into my post, what was with the title, it didnt seem to say anything about the piece?

[warchild]

i thought this ok nothing special, the subject was crazy but shit like this happens all the time just turn on the news man.
the structure was good the flow was average but it was a decent story but i thought you could of made it better.