Working Class Hero

[Novacain]

Working Class Hero

::
As soon as you're born they make you feel small
By giving you no time instead of it all...
They see that you fall and insist you feel bitter.
Then they see you wither and call you a quitter.
You think you fit in until they spit at you.
To them you're just shit and they wanna get rid of you.
You try to act bigger and scare them away...
But then they'll just kill ya and go on with there day.
A working class hero is something to be...
A working class hero is something to be...

They hurt you at home and they hit you at school.
They hate you if you're clever and they despise a fool.
'Til you're so fuckin' crazy you can't follow there rules.
You've got no choice to choose, so you lose instead of win.
You move you feet to there beat, you're defeated but you grin.
You sleep and have nightmares, you hate that you wake and begin again.
You live a life of sin but, of course, its forced on you.
'Til you think fuck it and give in and accept that they've caught you.
A working class hero is something to be...
A working class hero is something to be...

When they've tortured you for twenty odd years.
And then they expect you to pick a career,
When you can't really function you're so full of fear.
Yours tears become dry and you start to disappear.
You're here for the moment, but you can't really hold it.
You find out that they've blown it, but you feel you've always known it.
They're like an opponent you've got to let beat you.
They don't care what you've been through they don't fuckin' need you.
A working class hero is something to be...
A working class hero is something to be...

Keep you doped with religion and sex and TV.
And you think that you're clever and careless and free.
But really you're just senseless and weak as can be.
You're still fuckin peasents as far as they can see.
You and me are just soldiers on the front line.
With heads on our shoulders as lost as our mind.
We're all blind to time and protesters of fate.
We mis-read the signs and are completely obsessed with hate.
A working class hero is something to be...
A working class hero is something to be...

There's room at the top they are telling you still.
But first you must learn how to smile as you kill.
Before they attack and take all our free will.
We feel like we're marchin' and watchin' them murder.
But really we're just lettin' them by runnin' away further.
We're raping and killing mother nature and ignore the face of the father.
If you show off the scars to prove that they hate ya, they only hit harder.
Aren't ya glad you're afraid? They've killed all the brave?
A working class hero is something to be...
A working class hero is something to be...

If you want to be a hero well just follow me...
If you want to be a hero well just follow me...
::

---------
Id been listening to the John lennon song a lot, and wrote this while listening too it. I know its now the best, but Id like some feed on it, thanks

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=166009
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=166057

[Omniscient]

Great drop man...this was a great peace to read...each and every verse was hot...this is one of those posts u keep wit u for days...good drop man...nothin really u had to improve so keep it up dogg

[Young BoE]

Agree'd, each and every verse was kinda different but all flow'd right together. It didn't catch my eye's big time but enough to make some good feed back on it. I like the way your real discriptive in your stuff. But good job.

[AbusivE]

Nice, you stuck to the topic well, and the topic was good...structure was very good, flow was also there. emotion was good, i enjoyed it.. vocab wasnt that strong, but the emotion made up for that. i enjoyed what u wrote about, alot of people can relate to this at times.. so i enjoyed it all, nice drop! hope to see more from u

[Novacain]

Thanks peeps

If you leave decent feedback, and a link I will drop feed on your piece


Uppin

[TheReinvention]

Alright man, I will give you honest feedback.. you did great.

Your Vocab was simple, and you coulda used alittle better words.. maybe some longer or bigger words. lol whats the difference idk. So I give you a 7/10 for vocab.


Your flow was right on, and it made sence to me.. you cant really improve on that any more, good job! I give ya a 10/10.


The Emotion of the song was just hot! I loved it, and you did great on that. Reminded me of a emotional peice. Good job! 9/10.


Overall: I give you a 9/10. You did good dawg, couldnt ask for anything better but to improve on Vocab. Thats it.. once again good job.

[Novacain]

Thanks man,

Uppin this

[Deviate]

Some nice lyrics in there man. I thought that you had excellent flow the majority of the time but on occasion I felt that some lines were pushed and too lengthy. Maybe cut them down a little bit... Could be done by looking at some more complex vocabulary like TheReinvention suggested. I thought that you stuck to the topic well and worded your emotion on it even better.

I have to agree with TheReinvention overall... Some nice lyrics, good flow, and generally well written but some more complex vocabulary might spice it up a little bit and make it sound much more confident and make you sound much more competent. Also watch out for line length on occasion as it disrupts the flow you'd developed. In the end though man I liked it and felt it, You may not like to listen to me because this is my first post but that is my honest input.

Nice work

[Novacain]

As long as you say you like it, im fine lol

But even if its your first post, it was decent feed, thanks

[Deviate]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=166327

Mind leavin some feedback for me?

[F-ROQ. (famous)]

real underground rappers dont rap about shit that big time rappers rap about. like 40's chicks, or makin it big. you need better shit to write about before you become a working class hero kid.

[Novacain]

Huh? I dont want to be a working class hero....
Its a john lennon song, i just added... Oh forget it.

Thanks for the feed

[Novacain]

Ive recieved good feed on this, meaning people who have replied have actually took the time to read the piece and let me know honestly what they think.

Thank Y'all

Any1 else?? Drop links Ill reply

[warchild]

i really like this the meaning in the song was good the message was strong some really good lines in there.
the structure and flow was good i got nothing 2 hate on.

[Novacain]

Thanks Warchild

Any1 Else????