User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 15 of 15

Thread: Trialz Of Tyme (verse/hook)

  1. #1
    =YaZ=
    Guest

    Trialz Of Tyme (verse/hook)

    Drop #1
    Drop #2

    I wrote this in jail, so it's kinna emotional.

    [Verse]
    Sence I, was a young child, I've ben dope
    Trinna coop with the trialz of tyme, with no hope
    Dead broke, lost with a mind of mixed thoughts
    Crossin the line, trinna find were this shit stops
    I gots cops, always watchin my tail
    And I failed ta make bail, so my fates ta take jail
    I'm locked up off the streets, feelin obsoleat
    I'm so weak, that I pass in and outta sleep
    I can't take it it's like I'm about to snap
    But if I did that, I'd never get ta lace another track
    Or gain back, the credit I invented in Tha Brooke
    Look, I gained my stack through my days as a crook
    It's like every day, that I'm stuck at the Hay
    I feel like I've gone krazy, what more can I say
    I've already said it all, kuz I spit it through rhyme
    But thats what happens wene your battalin the trialz of time

    [Hook]
    The Trialz of Tyme lead a path of a funny world
    As an essece of pain erruptes while hates unfurl
    desent becomes lothed as friends become strangers
    and the memories of the past, will last in bitter angers
    Last edited by =YaZ=; January 15th, 2005 at 03:48 AM Reason: Needed Drops

  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Age
    35
    Posts
    451
    Battle Record
    1-1
    Flow n structure were good, nothin was stretched...multis could use some work, but i seen a few...vocab, negh could use some work... but the emotion in here was good... overal this was a good peice, keep droppin shit like this man

  3. #3
    =YaZ=
    Guest
    iight kool, uppin

  4. #4
    .::The Unseen Prodigy::. ThE ReAlEsT OnE's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    .::.R.I.::.
    Posts
    757
    Battle Record
    7-4
    yo this was a good piece....the flow was good an structure was good....the vocab wasa ok......overall great piece

  5. #5
    =YaZ=
    Guest
    iight thanx, uppin again

  6. #6
    =YaZ=
    Guest
    uppin for some feed

  7. #7
    The Drama Club
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    2,917
    Battle Record
    25-27
    this was nice very smooth had some bumps but all verses may have some...overall good job man
    Life Is 10% What Happens To You;
    90% How You React To It.

  8. #8
    =YaZ=
    Guest
    uppin fo feed, eh yo hit this shit up fo real

  9. #9
    =YaZ=
    Guest
    iight i'm uppin this shit one more tyme

  10. #10
    GhettoFabolous
    Guest
    Damnnnnnnn homie finally some real shit up on here! I could feel this like whoa, in one verse u spat what its like to be locked up. Da hook was str8 too. Had a sorta Pac feelin to it man. Keep up da tyte shit for real.

    Hit up one of my links in my sig plz man.

    Keep droppin.

    1

  11. #11
    Dune Methane CrazyCarl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Age
    37
    Posts
    1,866
    Battle Record
    3-0
    The emotion was there. Had good flow. Could probably put in another verse, if you got more to say, it would sound good in there.

  12. #12
    I'm Roman Catholic Lord Sarcasm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Age
    36
    Posts
    2,918
    Battle Record
    13-3
    GKB for life. This was mediocre at best, keep your head up, word to the 5.
    WordPerfect

  13. #13
    yo man i can tell youz was bored outta your fucking mind... just remember keep Tha Brook real!!!

  14. #14
    Retired.
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Nowhere
    Age
    35
    Posts
    1,737
    Battle Record
    9-11
    yo bro....haha nice drop...how long have you been workin on this? i memba abck wheneva you started this in class.....lol this came out great anyway dawg it really appealed to me.....peace man...an eh yo...i dropped an extension on rascism...check it out?? i hope it aight

  15. #15
    Banned
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    557
    Battle Record
    17-14
    alright well this was pretty good. i liked the flows. it had pretty good rhymes, a little simplistic, but pretty good. i was feeling it. keep it up

Similar Threads

  1. just a verse and a hook
    By Kazket in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: February 22nd, 2005, 02:32 AM
  2. -TYME- ~VS~ P-Verse
    By -tyme- in forum Closed Battles
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: August 25th, 2004, 10:59 PM
  3. -TYME- ~VS~ P-Verse
    By -tyme- in forum Closed Battles
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: August 25th, 2004, 05:48 AM
  4. 1 verse-no hook
    By UnSpOkeN Wurdz in forum Poetic Scriptures
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: June 9th, 2003, 07:42 PM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •