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Thread: Breath OF death

  1. #1
    LiTeSknBaby F.A.M.'s Avatar
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    Breath OF death

    post poned, amongst deaths throne
    check of the neck no detected tone
    pulse gon', soul-fled its flesh and bone
    resurrected home, infected asylum
    the withered naked shrieking of death as its dying
    tear ducts stricken with fear subsides crying
    lying,in unbearable agony
    unaware of reality
    a terrible calamity
    lookin death in its pupils / ---*winces away*--
    i cannot stare at the faces with no apathy
    the type that shows grace at the tragedy...
    yeh
    rigormortis absorbed convulsions shortly after my oxygen depleted
    brainwaves rested incompleted aeora stop speeding
    corneas started to stop bleeding
    no blood leaking,my ammune system
    use to be in-tune and listened
    now my t cells are newly in remission
    my last breath the past that lasted right before death
    was blood gurgling ,prayers and ex-cepts
    my soul remains restless.......


    yay

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  2. #2
    LiTeSknBaby F.A.M.'s Avatar
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  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Omniscient's Avatar
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    Yo this shit was hot...really like da vocab in this piece...last couple of posts i have seen from u have been hot keep it up

  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    This was a good peice..the topic was nice..was really feelin the emotion in this..the vocab was also good... seen some multis, not as much as their could be though...you could use some work on your structure, some lines were stretched then some were short...but overal this was something nice to read...keep droppin stuff like this..hope to see more from you

  5. #5
    The True Psycho of RB
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    another tight verse, great vocab, structure and flow was good, some great imagery in the rhymes i really like your rhymes.

  6. #6
    LiTeSknBaby F.A.M.'s Avatar
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    thank u i kinda fancy them myself lol preciate the comments and the damn love..

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  7. #7
    Banned Chronic Cancer's Avatar
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    yo...................Hot Shit FAM..............Keep ya shit hot............

  8. #8
    NONCENTZ AKA WORD~PERFECT noncentz's Avatar
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    I Wish You Would Marry Me Lol Your Liek A Battl;e Style Jean Grae This Was Fire Fam And Hit N Run Forever
    to love something,is to die for it ,if you do, your a martyr , but these days music is morbid, false carters ..prohet's for prophet no lie, look how our last martyr was crucified. to put it in it symplicity, you aint true...you wouldnt sacrifice a few dollars for authenticity..

  9. #9
    Lunatick Lil'Young's Avatar
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    This shit was hot! structure did not go with the flow.
    the topic was hot. Also good vocab
    Keep it up.
    Last edited by Lil'Young; January 17th, 2005 at 07:16 PM
    <table style=filter:glow(color=White)..>Lunatick</table>

  10. #10
    The Drama Club
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    this was decent..your structure really threw off the flow...vocab was good...topic was unmisakenly miguiding......sounded like a Tarantino script<<<not a diss but not a conpliment...your structure is what made this an ok piece...but good job
    Life Is 10% What Happens To You;
    90% How You React To It.

  11. #11
    REAL
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    dop peice fam it was very descriptive.......stay up

  12. #12

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