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Thread: Masturbation ruined my life.

  1. #1
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    Masturbation ruined my life.

    SS Battle hard topic but this is it....

    I was stressed, compressed a contest to impress
    A test of whose best in completing their quest
    For weeks ive bin depressed, now was my time
    Movement had started and now, im at my prime
    Began my climb, heat raised and so did the friction
    As the movement became harder so did my constriction
    Lust for eviction, but competition put doubts in my head
    I was one out of a thousand grasping a grip for that egg
    Approaching the last leg, and now the heat had turned roar
    I could tell it was a climax as the meat felt all soar
    Couldn’t take anymore, sexual feelings wiped me mind
    Opened my eyes but tension had me shutting them blind
    Only to find, as I peaked loosing breath from exhaustion
    Masturbation had placed a thousand sperms in abortion
    A portion of my heart sank, feelings dismissed
    As I was literally clinging on to his fist
    Would I cease to exist? A journey with a twist of a knife
    Feelings vanished as masturbation ruined my life.


    #1.
    #2.
    Last edited by Effect.; January 11th, 2005 at 12:11 PM

  2. #2
    Jai-Cee
    Guest
    Hard luck man...

    Everythings is good in moderation - maybe you've been overdoing the 5 knuckle shuffle...!?

    On the level though...

    Nice vocab, it could have been hindered by the concept itself - most people would have prolly gone a bit crude and basic with their choice of words...

    I'm pleased the imagery was lacking - for obvious reasons I'll hope you realise...!

    It flowed well throughout as well... Didn't get choppy or off point during the verse.

    Props - tackled a subject (that I'd personally steer well clear of) reasonably well...

    Props...

    Pea-Easy

  3. #3
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    lmfao word thanks man...i tried.

  4. #4
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    -Bounce-

  5. #5
    Lol, this was good.
    You had some pretty good lines, I didn't actually find it funny if that was what you were going for, but i thought it was a good use of wordplay and as Jai-Cee said, the imagery lacked... which i agree is a good thing, lol.

    Nice work

  6. #6
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    Who Said Anything About Being Funny?

  7. #7
    The title suggested a funny OM, i said IF you were going for that, it wasnt.

  8. #8
    You've Earned a Custom Title! versatility's Avatar
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    Very nice peace on da realz....great Imagery.....Vocab and grasped my attention from beginin

  9. #9
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    thanks.

  10. #10
    krazee
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    lol i thought it was gonna be sumthin funny but it wasnt but still fresh...i like the vocab and the structure was there not a damn thing wrong it wit it...thnx for not being very discriptive with vulgar words lol


    pce



    hit up my open mic
    visions of a killer

  11. #11
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    good OM, not legendary. wack topic to begin with honestly, i couldnt see very many writers making this legendary. lol.

  12. #12
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    yeh i no...lmfao i had to do it for ss so.

  13. #13
    ToTheTop Steven William's Avatar
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    bleh SS has gone to shit
    the guidelines give you just about
    0% freedom to be creative or
    write like it was when people dropped
    dope enough to make everyone like WoW! DOPE!

    but s'all good man this was a great job
    for having no imagery it was a pretty
    good read and considereing SS new rules

    nice man...now
    Check out my new OM

    What the Problem Is?
    ScytsoPhrenia
    CrazyDope

    Put down the pebbles in my hand, climbed a ladder, put a brick right through your window.
    "You're gonna hear me out." Yeah, hear me out on this!

  14. #14
    Dmasta
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    Damn.. I like your style.. *whispers* it kind of turned me on..

    You did pretty good.. I would add more to this but I'm tired... I give it a whopping
    9/10..
    Good job..

  15. #15
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    word thanks man

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