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Thread: victims of nature

  1. January 6th, 2005, 09:16 AM #1
    street_Rydah
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    Post victims of nature

    this is a short one ...... drop sum feedback plz

    once again innocent people have past away
    no one saw this comin on such a regular day
    this aint war , its just a battle against nature
    a warning system could have saved some
    now 2girlz and baby brother livin without a mother
    she tryed to run before the destructive wave caught her
    they had a chance to look for higher spaces
    dead body's over few 100 maybe 1000 acres
    whole family's were ripped apart
    children livin as orphins with a broken heart
    Now let us have a moment of silence
    they in a better place ...under gods guidance
    New year ended up a huge tragedy
    grip your hands 2gether & say a prayer with me
    its a miracle for those who made it out alive
    printed on their minds .... means TRAUMATISED for LIFE


    links >> Swimming with Sharks By Lyric
    First Verse From My New Track In Progress By TeLLaKoNeSiS a
    Last edited by street_Rydah; January 7th, 2005 at 08:10 PM

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    ya do real shit , ya get real results
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    this dude got sum gd songs on his soundclick ...
    Name : dimense
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  2. January 6th, 2005, 09:29 AM #2
    street_Rydah
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    uppin ....
    uppin ............

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    this dude got sum gd songs on his soundclick ...
    Name : dimense
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  3. January 6th, 2005, 10:17 AM #3
    street_Rydah
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    same shity erry time
    DROP SUM FEEDBACK
    COMON ........

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    this dude got sum gd songs on his soundclick ...
    Name : dimense
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  4. January 6th, 2005, 10:22 AM #4
    warchild
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    wassup they always sleep on this site.
    i liked this piece it was just too short i think if you made it longer it would be more easier to give better feedback.
    the structure was good but you need to work on ya flow just keep writing and writing and you'll improve.
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  5. January 6th, 2005, 10:43 AM #5
    warchild
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    reply to my last post dogg.
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=164157
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  6. January 6th, 2005, 11:09 AM #6
    street_Rydah
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    iight i'll reply
    ....... UPPIN

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    this dude got sum gd songs on his soundclick ...
    Name : dimense
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  7. January 6th, 2005, 12:25 PM #7
    street_Rydah
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    ayo drop a lil feedback
    damn ............ uppin'

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    this dude got sum gd songs on his soundclick ...
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  8. January 6th, 2005, 06:09 PM #8
    street_Rydah
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    yo .........
    drop sum feedback
    i'll return tha favor
    damn

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    this dude got sum gd songs on his soundclick ...
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  9. January 6th, 2005, 06:54 PM #9
    Young BoE
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    Nice, i love the subject real solid and reliable. Good vocab and really nice flow. Nothin to durasktic but nice. Oh and a little short.
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  10. January 7th, 2005, 08:01 PM #10
    street_Rydah
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    ty for the feedback
    i kno its 2short
    still uppin ........ comon

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  11. January 8th, 2005, 08:16 PM #11
    Novacain
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    Yeah, agree that its short but up your vocab a little too, even tho ther was a few good rhymes in there, it lacked that something.

    Kepp droppin tho man
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  12. January 8th, 2005, 08:51 PM #12
    street_Rydah
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    ........ uppin .........

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  13. January 8th, 2005, 09:16 PM #13
    F.A.M.
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    you gon up it to death dawg lol...nah it was nice short...nice ran with the topic..a lil suspense in it it told a story...make it a liiiiiiiiil bit longer..aight

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  14. January 8th, 2005, 09:16 PM #14
    STAT$
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    this was iight......it was a nice concept but it lacked in content.....try to add more imagery and emotion in these type of pieces......but still iight keep drop'n
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  15. January 9th, 2005, 12:40 PM #15
    street_Rydah
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    iight
    ty for the feedback
    still uppin........

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