Hold My Thought

[warchild]

as i sit here stressed and roll this weed
im wondering what the fucks gotta hold of me
is it just the pain of life
or is it the mistakes ive made now wanting me to pay the price
i feel suffocated by the society i see out the window
im not a religious man but i regret my sins though
i try not to but i still commit em
some of my better childhood days i tend to miss em
and believe me there werent many to miss
the things ive done to make my life better there aint any to list
so maybe its time to change my mindstate
but then i wish and wonder will time wait?
they say that time waits for no man
well waiting for my fate is no plan
is it really worth me adjusting my view?
i just wanna rap but that probably dont mean nothing to you

almost on every piece of paper
im talking about when i meet my maker
death is every woman and man's fate
but when my days are up you wont see my hands shake
cause im hoping the afterlife will be stress free
im not bullshitting id go now if theyd let me
id love just to make it to thirty
maybe i will, maybe i wont, but i know soon my breath will dersert me
but until then im gonna try to get my rhymes heard
i know many dont understand me cause my minds blurred
sometimes i can be beserk, lethal
but only if im threatened will i hurt people
all ive ever wanted is an easy life
im still searching for that something to ease the strife
but maybe all thats just a dream
to make a better life....... well.. thats up to me

i wrote this probably like 8 months back just more of that deep shit no punches or nothing. take ya time with this one try and feel wat im saying i feel im getting slept on on these forums man, peace.

[MC-Snoop]

i think its good, but i dont know about the other people!!!!!!!! u know that im just startin and i still might miss some stuff

[warchild]

links:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=163669
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=163574

[The Vortex]

shit is nice man kinda like some good poetry mixed up in here
i seen this mindstate all the time no doubt

you'd make a good poet no doubt as your words are delivered clearly

shame that this sites poet spot is shit

keep em poppin dun

[warchild]

come on what the fuck im replying to mad peoples posts and you aint replying back, mad hating.

[MC-Snoop]

i did reply!

[Interpersonal]

well this piece was so so...it was simple and the structure wasnt that great....your vocab could have been a lot better...i like the concept in this piece...it was deep but i think you could have interpted it betterly...you should really think about touching this up....anyways keep elevating duke....one

[warchild]

uppin.

[Butch Casady]

PROS- this was a descent drop. Had great flow and good length to it

Cons - lacked some vocab, metas, but was a desecent drop....

[warchild]

thanks for the replies but i want more, i hate when people think big words equals a dope verse it dont. i use big words in some of my songs but to me its just getting the feeling through and most people who like hip hop dont understand all thoses fancy words anyways.

[warchild]

its strange people reply loads to my ignorant rhymes and not much to my deeper shit so im uppin this again.