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Thread: ..Rapverse..Representation

  1. #1
    Newbie *Troop*'s Avatar
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    ..Rapverse..Representation



    These rap dudes think they livin them Lyrix they Spittin
    But once the Heat come out
    they get all Congested Like an After Thanksgivin Shittin
    You dont have no Corner Bodega for yo Secret Stashes
    Cuz these ni99az Blind 2 the Masses
    Like they was Visually gettin Input thru Stevie's Glassses
    Blast ya Breathe off ya Heart like a 400 Pounded Boulda
    I stick wit "D" like i had the Pistons Embroided on my SHoulda
    Dont come at me Like im tha Dissappointment like a SadToy
    Get 50 busted at ya Pinkies
    and Watch you Shift.... like Diddy since you such a BadBoy
    Some Hustlas...some jus Liars...Some really will TouchYa's
    Some will suprise you like a Transexual tryin to Fuck Bruhs
    These Rappers is Story tellers..u dont kno who u Endorsin
    and u Listnin 2 the Rumors..so u dont kno wha u Supportin
    You Dudes is fallin off tha Charts..Im in Artificial Harms?
    And im comin Unexspected possibly
    Kinda......Sumthin like a Stick up Kid wit Artificial Arms
    Im takein over the Rap Verses Boards....come time me
    I figured out the Industry Pumped up
    Then get caught and start tellin....... like Jason Giambi
    Figured u Ni99az cant touch me...Like steel on my Tri ceps
    Delivering PunchLinez in GrandSlams
    got Ni99az thinkin i got Barry Bonds Squattin on my Bi Ceps


    ...Stop troop stop stop...u Killin em...u dont got Punches they say
    jus Vocab.........................So Bitch

    How many times i gotta Pour out my all till i Turn Blue
    Do i have 2 Demolish all in ya city
    ................Like that Skyscraper Height Lizard Do
    My spit Game is Vicious...my Dick game is Delicious...Hoes Half Mines Bro
    Dont get mad..cuz my Stroke rateing over the Superbowl Halftime Show
    Only takes one bar delivered for them 2 Realize and KnowMinez
    I den came from Poverty and Survived the Grind
    My future Includes Dryin off Franklins & Benjamins on my ClothesLines
    From the Rox to the Blox you can call it somewha of a Transformation?
    ..When my last dayz Rise Upon me..Ima be fine
    knowin my Lil Boyz gone be pushin Big wheelz
    That caculate & Adjust & Compare 2 the Size of ya Everyday Transportation

    .....If u dont like me Fuck u....its a wrap for these Clowns
    Explained Votez Only~Honest Votes Returned


    23 K'o'z~2 D'q's~Dont get it Twiztid




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    KnockOut King..

  2. #2
    The True Psycho of RB
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    wassup son? this was tight real nice vocab the structure could of been improved but other than that it was a nice drop. the flow was tight and you had some nice punches.
    reply to my last post.
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=162952

  3. #3
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    You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.

  4. #4
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    bleh.... another played gangsta im a fuking da man rap...

    just my opinion... would be good if your into that kinda stuff... not bad flow had dabs of pretty good vocab... all around decent.. nothing really special no emotion... no imagery really... meh...

    id say 6.5/10

  5. #5
    Elevating Beyond Perfect Derive's Avatar
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    This was pretty bleh. Wasnt too bad, but wasnt good either. Work on your punches and your vocab, and work on wordplay.

    4/10.
    The Takeover

  6. #6
    It's Willie Baby Willy B's Avatar
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    bruh if you want a crew come holla at hit n run i might be able to sort you out wit a chain...not to bad i'd say you could do better but who knows

  7. #7
    Awaken
    Guest
    this was a pretty...played out piece. I'm getting tired of reading pieces in the open mic that are all about punchlines and dissing the shit out of people. I'm not saying this is bad or anything, but it just doesnt catch my eye at all. As far as writing goes, this was a decent piece, no punches really stuck out, and that whole deal, basic critisicm, keep em coming, but not like this lol. peace.

  8. #8
    ninjaboy
    Guest
    well, i tend to agree with some of the stuff above, i thought the piece was decent. sure it wasn't that deep, but not everyone wants to write deep all the time, i write mostly deep stuff, but even i just wrote a little gansta verse, with no real substance other than punches, so i say hey, do ya thing, it's not the post of the month but it was dope. oh, but make your text bigger, it's better to read that way. pz, and check my shit i just wrote:

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...96#post1946996

  9. #9
    Newbie *Troop*'s Avatar
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    i got the deep shit 2 4 ya...ima start postin here alot more
    Explained Votez Only~Honest Votes Returned


    23 K'o'z~2 D'q's~Dont get it Twiztid




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    KnockOut King..

  10. #10
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    No Links.

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