tryin' 2 up my flow

[YoungTuan]

if death is a wakeup call i'd rather stay asleep/
the streets raised me all i did was raise the heat/
all you dumb catz just chillin' wit these rats/
and they'll shot you in the back just to get ya cheddar stacks/
can't chill wit ya homies don't know if they'll fuck ya/
I walked wit my head down I had no one to look up to/
now i don't know wrong from right/
and something in the dark tried to pull me outta the light/
so now i sit here put my life in pen and paper and write/
write shit down even if it's wack or it's tight/
but can't nobody tell me what's wrong and what's write cuz ain't none of y'all muthafuckas livin' my life/-YoungTuan

[The Root]

damn the first line made me think this might be cool..then you just had to ruin it..lol just playin man

"I walked wit my head down I had no one to look up to/
now i don't know wrong from right/
and something in the dark tried to pull me outta the light/
so now i sit here put my life in pen and paper and write/
write shit down even if it's wack or it's tight/"

these lines were actually really dope.. i liked the emotion and they paint a good picture...your comin along..remember stay away from "ima gangster thugg" raps get creative..you can do it...keep writing

[tonguetwista]

ah it was an aight piece....it had some good flow, and rhyming.

if death is a wakeup call i'd rather stay asleep/
...this was def the best line in here....dope...

keep elevatin...peace

[Grizzly-Cw]

ayo u wanna battle i just joined i gotta get me rep up

[FanTa ZeE]

^i reckon your gonna get banned soon

erm, yeah there was one line i really like in this peice and that was ' i got my head down cause i aint got no one to look up to' or summat like that...anyway that line was tight but i wasn't really feelin the rest of the verse...work on it i'd say, but include the line i mentioned, and it'll be wkd dope.

[Mistral]

1 Open Mic Per Day.