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Thread: B******s

  1. #1
    tweetburd
    Guest

    B******s

    Two people are never the same in this complicated life that plays like a game/
    From birth we are nurtured to gain all the things we need to be trained/
    and then we need to choose the game that we play and by which rules/
    but general misanthropic feelins leave us reelin and inevitably confused/
    about why people go through this life being battered bruised and abused/
    Is it something we're just used to..people vindicating violent attacks/
    So as i attempt this arduous task to unmask them for who they are/
    So that eventually no matter where they go they'll be barred/
    A slight repayment for the hundreds of people they've left scarred/
    Over the years and had to live with thier fears and the harm/
    They live with each and every day till they die and get embalmed/
    So lets work together and try 2 find a way 2 make these bastards sorry/
    Last edited by tweetburd; December 10th, 2004 at 03:29 PM Reason: spelling mistake!!!!

  2. #2

  3. #3
    tweetburd
    Guest
    anyone wanna hit back and give me a bit of feedback it'd be nice!!!!! and check out the links ^^ to other open mic sessions that i've seen

  4. #4
    tweetburd
    Guest
    anyone for giving me at least a little feedback on this just one or two words would be ample!!!!!

  5. #5
    tweetburd
    Guest
    anybody at all for some feedback on this or have i just done it for myself?

  6. #6
    gem n eye
    Guest
    I liked it, I can relate
    good structure and it flowed out without much flaw at all

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=160715

  7. #7
    tonguetwista
    Guest
    i thought it was pretty good man....i can also relate to that shit. pretty good rhyme and flow...keep it up

  8. #8
    I AINT BEEN HERE IN YEARS freshouttaafrica's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Connecticut Tristate Area
    Age
    35
    Posts
    697
    Battle Record
    12-6
    it was iight but i think it would have been a whole lot better if you would have made it long
    like in all honesty aint no way for me to tell you how this is except that ya flow was tight but other than that it was only a snippet. just extend this shit like if you want make it a remix
    CHECK MY SHIT OUT ON
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  9. #9
    Banned Chronic Cancer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Chandler, Arizona...Where The Fine Bitches Stay..
    Age
    38
    Posts
    1,365
    Battle Record
    4-5
    i agree with fresh it could have been better if it was longer. it was overall good, so 7/10

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