song**MICFLUENT VIEWS** FeeDBACK plz

[micfluent]

aiyyo i jus wrote this song and my friend and i are gonna record it
we already got a beat
gimee some feed back if you like the lyrics
its jus like ne normal song 3 verses and a chorus
enjoy

MICFLUENT VIEWS

1st verse(Micfluent)

flying high as invisible airplanes but in the underground game like a mole//
bout to make an alblum but never gonna be like Saddam stuck in a hole//
My rhymes eat up MCs like dinosaurs, causn them to suddenly become exticnt//
then viciously eat up N'Sync till they reek with the smell of dead corpse stink//
Killn pink haired fag bands with my shoulder missles from the war in Afghanistan//
Like Peter Pan my rhymes live forever and stay strong jus like Superman//
But still im a weapon of mass destruction that cant be found hiding in Iraq//
my talent is definitely great and im stilll working on getting it untapped//
so put down your gat and say hello to the brand new face of hip hop//
Battling everday for fun, but waiting to amaze people when "Micfluent Views" drops//

Chorus:
Part 1(Micfluent)
Its Micfluent Views, from gays to politics to Saddam in Iraq//
Speaking on things your mind is way too scared to untap//
Open up the record books, cuz my lyrics are on the way in//
The new rap style, the most amazing kid with the pen//

Part 2(IslandRootz)
Its Micfluent Views, the beats are as sick as Michael Jackson touching boys//
Its a dynamic duo, no one can stop the shit we deploy//
Open up the record books, cuz the beats i make are hits//
The new sound style, shit is blowing peoples ears to bits//

Verse 2(Micfluent)
They say im a Gay Killer quickly killing all fags with the deadly frags//
Cant understand why some people boning guys in the ass, even their dad//
If i catch you kissn another guy then you kno you my target, scum//
Ill have all the gays in your community running fast and calling 911//
UH-OH!!!
Saddams bombs couldnt even stop this flow thats influenced by god//
Put all the gays together, and let my rhymes rip um apart like caged dogs//
Hard as bricks, then cuttn off heads of clowns who like to suck dicks//
keep starin at my insane lyrics man, see if they will do a trick//
WOW
and look watch everyday where your dick goes cuz there is tons of disease
if you stick your penis in a guys ass, shouldnt he wash it first? GEEZ//
I attack gays so freely, i wonder if police will suddenly show up at my door//
o well, you think that verse was sick? see what the 3rd has got in store//

Chorus:
Part 1(Micfluent)
Its Micfluent Views, from gays to politics to Saddam in Iraq//
Speaking on things your mind is way too scared to untap//
Open up the record books, cuz my lyrics are on the way in//
The new rap style, the most amazing kid with the pen//

Part 2(IslandRootz)
Its Micfluent Views, the beats are as sick as Michael Jackson touching boys//
Its a dynamic duo, no one can stop the shit we deploy//
Open up the record books, cuz the beats i make are hits//
The new sound style, shit is blowing peoples ears to bits//

3rd verse(Micfluent)
Treasure the difference, yes, im still that jewel waiting to pop out da box//
gonna get released into this rap game, to infect listeners like small pox//
Still got the game locked, like the hand of a gay guy on a dick//
Got a bad attitude, sayn "Let's Go" more times than Trick//
Burning Vanilla Ice to the center like a kid eatin a lolipop to the middle for dinner//
Ye i got a messed up head,crazier than 100 kids in an ED center//
Pathelogical liar, telln my mom the shirts blue, when its really bright red//
got a brain scan once, they told me that i had 15 holes in my head//
could go on forever, about the shit wrong with my intelligent brain//
but the song has gotta end sometime, so if u want jus play it again//




Part 1(Micfluent)
Its Micfluent Views, from gays to politics to Saddam in Iraq//
Speaking on things your mind is way too scared to untap//
Open up the record books, cuz my lyrics are on the way in//
The new rap style, the most amazing kid with the pen//

Part 2(IslandRootz)
Its Micfluent Views, the beats are as sick as Michael Jackson touching boys//
Its a dynamic duo, no one can stop the shit we deploy//
Open up the record books, cuz the beats i make are hits//
The new sound style, shit is blowing peoples ears to bits//

arite thx gimee some feedback on the song

[noncentz]

well length and you had alot of typical none creative work but at the same time you had alot of tight content as well over all...island rulez didnt do it for me though i really did like the touch him or her added.

[Mistral]

You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.

[warchild]

this was pretty poor ya flow is poor the punchlines were poor you sound like eminem talking about n'sync and all that bullshit, just keep writing wat u feel not wat other mc's have already rapped about, peace.
return the favour reply 2 my last post
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=160700

[micfluent]

wait wut do u mean i need to leave two links wut do i do credz?

[gem n eye]

i agree with warchild.. no offense
but I know you can do better

[micfluent]

i agree with warchild.. no offense
but I know you can do better

yo thx for the feedback but tell me why u think the flow is poor??

[tonguetwista]

yeah this was kinda a week piece. the structure was weak. you need stronger vocab. just kick it up a notch...peace

[micfluent]

yo i got a revised editoin out ill post a link up once im done

i addeed mulites every line