Higher than Heaven

[warchild]

i havent got the balls to take my life, so who do i ask to/
i would ask the devil, but he's yet to pass through/
so im just demented and depressed sitting down/
my hope's have been up in the air, now their hitting ground/
i just sit around stoned in these suicidal ages/
im getting high off all the lie's from the bible's pages/
when you hear what i write on this paper you may be pissed/
but you'd probably be right if you claim im a atheist/
cause everything ive seen all i feel is the devil's breath/
some of my demon's are dying, but a part of me wont let em rest/
call me this, call me that, call me crazy/
about this life im living, did my peer's warn me? maybe/
nah, i never had no peer's to look up to/
i wouldnt believe em anyway, even book's and prayer's wanna fuck you/
having the mind that i do, it's a fast way to die/
ive been through as much pain as the last days of christ/

hook=i got a good heart but a fucked mind
id tell you everyone of my thought's but i dont have enough time
cause im too busy battling my own soul
that's why i stay higher than heaven and my heart's cold

people continue to ask me why my head's crazy/
im haunted by this horror, all i hear is scream's from the dead babies/
who got taken away before they had time to breath/
i dont want em to stay perfect, i want my rhymes to bleed/
i get high and ask myself, all the casualties of nine eleven/
did every man, woman and child aboard those flights arrive in heaven/
i dont believe in much so some say i do the devil's work/
im drunk everyday even though i know my head will hurt/
im surronded by struggle and sin/
who really give's a fuck about all this trouble im in/
live in my skin for twenty year's then judge me/
i ask my mother when was the last time she really loved me/
she says she still does, but it's not what her eyes say/
no matter which way i choose to live, im ready for my day/
so i walk around with no fear's/
im just wishing for a better way, at my funeral i dont wanna see no tear's/

please dont sleep on this, i think this is the deepest stuff ive wrote so reply 2 it id appreciate it a lot, peace.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=160664
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=160647

[warchild]

come on come on stop sleeping, you know this is tight.

[djb]

this was deffinatly very emotional. it jumped around a lil bit too much. and you need to work on your syllable count. even it up. those are minor things the major focus of this piece was the emotion and that came through very strong. you accomplished your goal and made me think as well this was a good piece.

[gem n eye]

I like it, really good bro

[fastforwords]

you ahve no room to talk about my flow.
you lack internals and multies, and although
i lacked them in my verse you responded to,
i am able to write with both. its jsut when i do
my flow is so fast paced i cant express myself
as well as i can with a poetic vibe.
your first 2 lines alone was off on syllable count by
about 5 beats. count your shit, and just cause it
rhymes well, doesnt mean you have a good flow.

check out some of my other pieces in here, i think
whatever i posted from week 2 PnP i flowed fiarly quick.

peace, elevate and keep up.

[warchild]

come on man couldnt you give a better reply than that. i like people 2 say wat they thought of the flow, i wanna know if they understand what im saying.peace.

[fastforwords]

what do you want me to say? i enjoyed it?
i didnt think it was that hot at all. you have
better ideas then msot of these new cats
rappin about drugs and shit but honestly, your
presentation is awful. uneven bars, uneven
syllable count add to an awkward flow, so when i
read it my lips stumble over the words rather than
glide. replies are so you can elevate, take what i
say and improve on it. im a legend here, you
can learn from me. trust.

[warchild]

i dont need 2 learn nothing off u pal hahaha u aint that good.

[warchild]

oh yeah i wasnt on about you when i said can you give me a better reply i was talking 2 gem n eye he gave me like 5 words. we must of posted at the same time.

[fastforwords]

i dont need 2 learn nothing off u pal hahaha u aint that good.

dude, ive gone legends on rb about 4-5 times.
at my peak i was at a point where i was choosing
when to put the effort in to write a legends piece.
im pretty sure i can bounce back and do it again, might
just take a bit more time. how can you say you cant
learn from that?
this piece was far from legendary, me being considered
a veteran who obviously has proven himself time and time
again, what more do i need, a teaching degree, cause kiddo,
im getting one of those in another 3 years.
you can learn from me. trust me. i lead by example. ask the
other vets of this site, they'll tell you. ask the end, he'll tell
you. and he doesnt even like me. trust.

[noncentz]

basic but very well composed also rookie or not you must elivate but this was hard emmotion and true lyrical skill you must progress i really feel the talent though.

[SirusX]

peak being 16?


i wouldnt throw out my most emotional peice to get critiqued.
could turn out to be a slap in the face.

it was good though i liked parts of your verse alot. this could be real for u, and transcribing it into rhyme can be tough. good song.

[Genocide`]

dude, ive gone legends on rb about 4-5 times.
at my peak i was at a point where i was choosing
when to put the effort in to write a legends piece.
im pretty sure i can bounce back and do it again, might
just take a bit more time. how can you say you cant
learn from that?
this piece was far from legendary, me being considered
a veteran who obviously has proven himself time and time
again, what more do i need, a teaching degree, cause kiddo,
im getting one of those in another 3 years.
you can learn from me. trust me. i lead by example. ask the
other vets of this site, they'll tell you. ask the end, he'll tell
you. and he doesnt even like me. trust.

Your whole world will soon come crashing down.. once you realize nobody cares about your internet achievements. Honestly, get over yourself........ your attitude sucks, for real.


Forget the haters on this one.. I liked reading this.. I saw the message that you were sending, and it's not like flow and structure has to be perfect, despite what some of these people may say. They're just trying to give you a hard time about it.. this was some quality work and I'm glad you dropped it.. it takes a lot of courage to share something this personal .. good job and keep it coming... pz.