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Thread: The Purity Of Flame.

  1. #1
    Evolve FanTa ZeE's Avatar
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    The Purity Of Flame.

    Hidden deep inside her costume, the world before her mask,
    A diluted sense of hatred buried beneath frills, black lace.
    In discovering a notice she hadn't realised, first time passed,
    Now stole her attention, and she was sewn into the page.
    Her past became her present, an alarming array of pictures,
    Flashed before her vision, shedding light,
    Times she'd blocked out long before, were inking themselves, now fixtures,
    As she delved into lost chapters of her life.

    The flickered dark of candles, resenting every gust of wind,
    Every gasp, every tickle that bid them shame,
    If only they'd had the strength back then to admit when they had sinned,
    And not surrender the purity of their flame.

    A startling realisation, when morning pinned back her lids,
    And she awoke to the sound of an age old day,
    Given but one final chance to confess all that she'd hid,
    And carry on with life once her guilt had blown away.





    make sense of it....I can't. I will get links.
    Def Poets

  2. #2
    Banned SirusX's Avatar
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    I like it. alot.

    Alot of metaphor throughout this little peice... And it rings true for alot of people..

    Very Smart. Nicely Done.

  3. #3
    redruM. Cinquix Incision's Avatar
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    ya its nice, i like the structure and vocab. , strait keep up the nice ish
    "ya i see you nigguhs mean muggin on poarches, unload that clip and watch em scatter like roaches"
    ima foo wit it! girl gimme dat pussy i kno wut to do wit it!

    I AINT NO BITCH!

  4. #4
    Evolve FanTa ZeE's Avatar
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    pinky and the brain...
    pinky and the brain
    one is a genius
    the others insane!

    i love your avy!

    thanks for the comments.
    Def Poets

  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Aight's Avatar
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    tight tight...nice use of iambic pentameter. fuck i've always wanted to use that phrase. that shit was mad unique though, i liked the feel of it. what i got from it was some chick in hiding that was tryin to figure out who she was now, but she was strugglin because she couldn't overcome her past actions. i know people like that. much love.
    Do me a favor and help me close this up.


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  6. #6
    LiTeSknBaby F.A.M.'s Avatar
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    i like that it was on some different type shit,,complex not just this and that thrown together i was feelin it it was more poetic like to me but it was good one

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  7. #7
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    I thought it was a real nice piece of poetry with some good imagery, and your flow was on point at most times, but the meaning of it escapes me right now. I will take another look at it at another time though, because I think it might just be worth persisting with. 1.

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=159984
    ...

  8. #8
    Evolve FanTa ZeE's Avatar
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    hee hee, persitant character arent you?

    thanks for all the positive! love yall
    Def Poets

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